Status: Goose MIA
Goose #4, later named Featherblade, had disappeared during last week's Operation Honkstorm. Many assumed he had defected. Others believed he was simply too dumb to find the gate.
Yong-Su, however, suspected something darker.
"He saw too much," he muttered, chewing on a bamboo pen. "Maybe... enemy recruitment?"
Fen overheard this and quietly added paranoia to her list of concerns.
Goose #4 Returns
Then, one morning—three days post-disappearance—Featherblade returned.
He limped through the courtyard like a war veteran coming home from a goose-themed version of Saving Private Ryan. His feathers were ruffled, his beak chipped, and he had a dead stare that spoke of trauma... or maybe indigestion.
Tao-Tao honked once in recognition. They touched beaks. It was... emotional.
Yong-Su approached slowly.
"Did they get to you?" he whispered.
Featherblade dropped a shiny button at his feet. Possibly a peace offering. Possibly loot.
Yong-Su nodded solemnly.
"You're promoted."
The Merchant of Fortune (and Mild Concern)
Later that week, a wandering merchant arrived with his donkey, peddling strange wares: brass tubes, corked flasks, random alchemical junk, and bootleg cultivation scrolls that definitely weren't legal.
Yong-Su saw the brass tubes and immediately began vibrating with excitement.
Fen tried to block him.
"You're not allowed near open markets yet!"
"Brass!" he shouted. "Gun-barrel-shaped!"
The merchant, sensing a sale, leaned over the crib.
"Ah, your baby has... excellent taste."
"He has a list," Fen hissed.
Yong-Su pointed aggressively at the tubes and held up three fingers.
The merchant blinked.
"He... wants three?"
"Don't feed the obsession!" Fen begged.
"Throw in the flask or the goose gets angry," Yong-Su added sweetly.
They struck a deal. Fen screamed internally.
Innovation Station: The Diaper Dampener Mk I
With new materials in hand, Yong-Su returned to his lab (read: crib). He had a problem to solve:
Recoil.
His last musket test had backfired so hard he bounced off a tree.
Solution? Shock-absorbent underpants.
He named them the Diaper Dampener Mk I™, made from:
Padded cloth
Twine
Two of Fen's spare socks (stolen with zero shame)
Crushed dried plum as a "mobility enhancer" (probably unnecessary)
The prototype looked... awful. But it worked. Mostly.
Field Test No. 12: Recoil Test Dummy (Himself)
This time, the gun was smaller. Shorter barrel. Improved seal. Polished brass.
Target: a melon.
Location: courtyard.
Witnesses: Tao-Tao, Featherblade, one terrified gardener.
Yong-Su aimed, braced, and fired.
BOOM.
The melon exploded like a fruit-themed festival gone wrong. The kick sent him skidding backward—but the Diaper Dampener™ held. Sort of.
He stopped after four feet instead of twelve.
"Success!" he yelled, eating dirt and triumph in equal measure.
Tao-Tao honked in celebration. Featherblade saluted with one wing.
Fen, arriving ten seconds later, dropped her tray and muttered:
"He's going to weaponize diapers."
Parent Paranoia Increases
Father began to notice... patterns.
"Darling," he whispered one night. "Should our son know how to draw schematics for crossbows?"
Mother blinked.
"He's drawing?"
"He drew something labeled: 'Phase 4: Detachable Goose Cannon.'"
She sipped her tea.
"He's... creative."
"The goose had goggles."
They both fell silent. Outside, a goose honked in perfect rhythm—once every seven seconds. A training cadence.
Nighttime Notes: Baby Journal
Brass: Excellent for barrels. Slightly edible (not recommended).
Merchant: Potential contact for future powder imports. Needs bribery system.
Goose #4: Promoted to reconnaissance. Possibly traumatized.
Diaper Dampener™ Mk I: Functional. Will need version 2.0 for aerial deployment.
Fen: Continues to resist. Send her fruit basket. (Explosive?)
That night, as the moon cast silver light across the courtyard, Captain Beakface and Featherblade stood watch atop the gate. Their eyes scanned the horizon.
Inside, Lee Yong-Su drifted to sleep murmuring the words:
"Next phase… flintlock pistol. Dual-wield."