The Blacksmith Encounter
At the tender age of eighteen months, Lee Yong-Su had moved on from primitive bamboo explosives and accidental cousin removals. Now, his ambitions were more refined:
Real metal. Real barrels. Real muskets.
This meant he needed a blacksmith—one who wouldn't question a toddler requesting custom steel tubes. Fortunately, there was Old Luo, the local smith famed for two things: skillful metalworking and total deafness.
Perfect.
Father thought it adorable that his toddler showed interest in metalworking. Yong-Su considered it step one in arming the populace.
The visit went smoothly:
Yong-Su pointed at the forge: "Fire good."
He pointed at iron bars: "Make boom-stick?"
Luo nodded happily: "Make broomstick, yes, yes!"
Yong-Su sighed. Close enough.
In minutes, Luo crafted him a small metal tube, robust enough for musket trials.
Yong-Su hugged the pipe with pure, innocent joy.
Luo beamed proudly, oblivious that he'd just become the world's first arms dealer for toddlers.
Fen's Professional Crisis
Meanwhile, Fen the maid had finally cracked. The eyebrow incident with Cousin Ping was the final straw. She'd begun visiting a local cultivation therapist named Master Zhi—a serene woman who specialized in emotional cleansing, incense therapy, and exorcisms.
"Tell me your troubles, child," Master Zhi said gently.
Fen inhaled deeply, voice trembling:
"The Young Master builds explosives. He traumatizes geese. He blew up a cousin's eyebrows—deliberately."
Master Zhi nodded calmly.
"Clearly a negative spiritual influence. You must place protection talismans around his crib."
Fen frowned.
"I did. He burned them."
"Ah." Master Zhi pondered briefly. "Then try chanting calming mantras."
"I did that too. He clapped and asked for encores."
Master Zhi leaned forward, concerned.
"Have you considered... running away?"
Fen blinked. Twice.
"…I can do that?"
Tao-Tao: Heroic Goose Training Montage
And then there was Tao-Tao the Goose. After surviving months of emotional and physical trauma, Tao-Tao evolved from grumpy guardian to honking hero.
It started when Yong-Su bribed him with raisins.
Within days, Tao-Tao learned commands:
"Defend": peck cousins aggressively.
"Retrieve": collect small metal pieces from the blacksmith.
"Alarm": honk furiously at approaching relatives.
Soon, the goose strutted the courtyard proudly, wings spread, daring anyone to approach without tribute.
Yong-Su beamed:
"Goose infantry—secured."
The First Real Test (a.k.a. The Musket Incident)
Finally, the moment arrived. Yong-Su's first prototype musket—a tiny metal barrel attached to a wooden toy crossbow stock, lovingly crafted by oblivious artisans who thought they were making "an educational toy."
The test would occur at dawn, in the bamboo grove. Fen had wisely taken vacation leave. Tao-Tao served as security.
Yong-Su aimed at a distant scarecrow stuffed with straw and Cousin Ping's ruined robes.
He lit the fuse.
A sharp crack echoed, smoke billowed, and straw exploded spectacularly.
Success.
Then panic. Yong-Su realized his tiny musket had vanished—thrown backward by recoil straight into a fishpond.
Lesson learned: recoil hurts pride and precision.
Still, he clapped with delight. Tao-Tao honked approval.
The Parental Aftermath
Father, investigating the explosion, scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Our son invented… ranged martial arts?"
Mother shook her head slowly.
"He's two years old."
Father hesitated.
"Well, at least the scarecrow invasion is thwarted."
Mother stared. He coughed awkwardly.
"Let's hire extra tutors. Fast."
Baby Notes for Future Conquest
Musket recoil: stronger than expected. Needs baby-proofing.
Fen's emotional stability: compromised. (Possible future defector?)
Tao-Tao loyalty rating: Maxed out. Goose commander secured.
Next phase: mass production.
Nightfall Reflections
Yong-Su lay in bed, exhausted, dreaming of new modifications. Longer barrels. Reinforced stocks. Maybe goose-mounted artillery?
He giggled sleepily at the thought.
Outside, Fen quietly packed a small bag, muttering:
"I should've gone into gardening."
Meanwhile, Tao-Tao honked softly under moonlight, ever vigilant