Royal Magic Academy Grounds – School Festival, Day One
Rei's day began like all others in his new life with dread, caffeine and the faint aroma of burning jealousy.
The school festival had officially begun.
The sun was shining, the banners were fluttering, and student-run their booths lined in the grand courtyard with games, snacks and terrifying marriage proposals thinly veiled as club invitations.
Rei stood at the edge of the courtyard, staring at the chaos.
"Maybe this year will be different," he muttered.
He was immediately hit in the head by a flying wedding bouquet. It exploded in glittering sparks that spelled out:
"YOU WILL BE MINE ♡ ~ DR"
Rei sighed.
[System Warning:
Yandere Booth Detected – Proximity Level: Uncomfortably Intimate]
[Note: Your odds of survival are now determined by booth location. Currently: 8%.]
"This is fine," Rei said, now he is lying expertly.
At the Center of It All…
Among the colorful booths, something stood and it is the largest—and most absurd—structure on campus, wait is this a golden temple made entirely out of macarons and divine arrogance.
A heavenly choir blared from enchanted speakers.
And in the middle of it, someone standing atop a floating pulpit of light, it was Seraphina Celestialis, Princess of the Holy Empire, Champion of the Radiant Choir, Heiress of Light, Justice, and Painfully Long Titles.
She raised her staff and the clouds parted, ground trembled.
And then—
"I SUMMON THEE, SACRED MASCOT OF CHASTE WRATH!"
With a thunderclap, the sky ripped open, and down descended a six-foot-tall, glowing bunny.
With abs, no with golden abs.
Its name tag read:
"HOLYBUN – Purity Enforcer v3.6"
Then that bunny landed gently beside her, his ears perked and he has glowing eyes and his tiny paws flexed with holy power.
Then it turned to the crowd and snarled.
"ANY WHO DARE GAZE UPON PRINCE REI WITH UNCLEAN INTENT… SHALL BE SMOTE."
"Smote?" Rei blinked. "That's not even grammatically—"
A boy two booths away looked in Rei's direction. He was not looking at Rei, Just near him.
ZAP.
The boy screamed because his entire booth was atomized by divine laser vision.
The crowd applauded politely.
[System Update:
New Threat Identified – "Holybun"]
[Effect: All flirt attempts within a 12-meter radius now result in divine smiting.]
[Bonus: Mascot has a 97% bias toward Seraphina. The remaining 3% is inexplicable rage.]
Back at the Neutral Booth (Emilia's Tea Stand)
Rei dove under a table.
Emilia is the only girl in school who hadn't drawn blood for his love, and she was calmly pouring chamomile tea into paper cups with a serene smile.
"Rough morning?" she asked sweetly, offering him a cookie.
"It's a holy war," Rei said, peeking over the table. "There's a bunny out there that just vaporized a snack booth."
"Want sugar with your tea?" She asks Rei with a cute smile.
"Double." Rei said.
BOOM.
Another scream echoed through the festival. A girl in a heart-shaped maid outfit had winked at Rei from 20 feet away, now her shoes were the only thing left.
Meanwhile… in the Shadows of the Festival
A meeting took place behind the Balloon Sword Stall and velvet curtains were drawn. Now threat levels were rising.
The Yandere Council: Emergency Session #53 – Operation Bunnyicide.
Rosette adjusted her frilly black veil and whispered, "It must be destroyed."
Drakana snarled. "Let me roast it."
"It's holy-warded," Lilia said. "My cult tried dousing it in holy oil but It just flexed."
Seraphina appeared suddenly in the center of the council, her eyes glowing. "You DARE conspire against my divine mascotry?"
Everyone screamed.
"I heard your schemes through the winds of righteousness!"
"We were just… discussing bunnies," Lilia lied. " About cute and fluffy ones."
"FLUFFY DEATH MACHINES," Drakana added helpfully.
[System Notice:
Yandere Hostility Level = 99%
Mascot Tension Level = SMITE-READY]
[Survival Tip #9: Pray. Ofcourse it will not help you.]
"Okay," Rei said, standing atop a makeshift podium made of confiscated love shrines. "Let's all calm down—"
A fireball shot past his head and Holybun growled. A beam of light shot through the sky and disintegrated a shrine to "Rei's Underwear Drawer."
"Why does that even exist?!" Rei said.
Rosette muttered, "It was just a prototype…"
Seraphina floated into the air with a beatific smile. "Peace is only possible through sacred vigilance."
"Seraphina, please—he's a person, not a messiah," Emilia protested.
"HERESY," the crowd shouted in unison.
Holybun's ears twitched.
"Oh no," Rei whispered. "It's targeting Emilia."
Holybun charged at Emilia.
Emilia just blinked, held up a cup of tea, and said, "Would you like a cookie?"
Holybun stopped and start sniffing that cookie. Then he took it.
A long, tense silence.
It sat down and a tear formed in its glowing eyes.
"...I have known only war," it whispered in an eldritch mechanical tone. "This… is peace."
The festival went silent. Then someone coughed.
"Rei sneezed ," Drakana announced. "And that's a mating signal in dragon culture."
Then the war resumed instantly.
Later That Night…
Rei lay in the school's infirmary bed, his covered in holy burns, love potion rashes, and he also got emotional betrayal.
Holybun sat beside him.
"You're… not so bad," Rei admitted weakly.
Holybun handed him a daisy.
[System Notification:
Achievement Unlocked – "Mascot Whisperer"]
[Reward: One (1) Get-Out-of-Smite-Free Card]
[Side Note: Usable only once. Or never.]
To be continued…