There are dungeons.
And then there are Dungeons — the kind with weird fog, creepy moans echoing in the distance, and entrance portals that look like a horny architect designed them during a fever dream.
We found one of those today.
"Tell me again why we're going in this one?" I asked, staring at the glowing archway carved into a cracked stone face that looked like it was mid-orgasm.
Raven adjusted her gear beside me. "Because this one spawned closer to the Safezone than expected. If we don't clear it, it'll spill."
"Spill what? Liquids?"
"Monsters."
"Right. That makes more sense."
Mei grinned, already hopping from foot to foot like a sugar-addicted ninja. "Dungeon loot, baby. I heard this one's a Lust-Type trap zone."
"…You say that like it's a good thing."
"It is. Unless it's a mimic with boobs. Then… it's a very good thing."
Raven looked like she wanted to shoot both of us.
Lira, trailing behind in her usual flowy robe (which was somehow shorter today), gave me a sly look.
"Lust Dungeons are unpredictable. But you're… well-suited for them."
[Dungeon Type: Lust-Variant – Trial of Temptation]
Effects: Libido-Responsive Hazards
Opportunities: Erotic Quests, Bond Trials, Rare Charm-Type Skills
Warning: Suppression not recommended for Harem-Class users
"So you're saying," I said slowly, "that this dungeon literally wants to seduce me."
"Most things do," Lira said, brushing her fingers over my arm.
Mei giggled. "Can't wait till you trip a boob trap and fall face-first into a slime girl."
"I feel very unsafe," I muttered.
Raven loaded a shell into her shotgun. "Good. Stay that way."
Inside the Dungeon – Ten Minutes Later
The moment we stepped through the portal, the air changed.
Warm. Thick. A little too humid. Like walking into a steamy nightclub sauna where the fog machines were on crack.
And the walls? Velvet-textured, pulsing faintly with pink light.
Oh yeah. We were inside something's weird sex dream.
"I swear," Mei whispered, "I just saw a statue wink at me."
We moved cautiously. The path forked ahead — left toward something that smelled like vanilla and death, and right toward something darker and… suspiciously moan-sounding.
"So," I said, "Team Horny goes left, Team Caution goes right?"
Mei raised her hand. "Team Horny."
Lira followed her without hesitation. "We'll scout the outer paths."
I blinked. "Wait, are we seriously splitting up?"
Raven scowled. "Fine. But don't engage anything until we regroup."
they did not listen.
Me and Raven – Right Path
We pressed through thick vines and steamy fog. I tried to focus, but the dungeon itself felt like it was whispering dirty things in my ears.
[Libido Meter: 56% – Rising passively from ambient aura]
Status Effect: Mild Arousal (Ignore at own risk)
"Do you feel that?" I asked.
"Ignore it," Raven said, jaw tight.
"Easy for you to say. I'm wearing boxer briefs. I'm pretty sure they're now boxer moist."
She shot me a glare, but then she tripped.
Right into my arms.
Of course.
Her face ended up right against my chest. My hand instinctively grabbed her waist. Our eyes locked for just a second too long.
[Bond Tension Triggered – Raven]
Libido Suppressed (Resisting)
Choice Trigger Detected: [Lean In] / [Back Off]
I almost leaned.
Almost.
But the dungeon made that decision for me.
The wall behind us shivered, and a slime-tentacle thing shot out, trying to yank Raven away.
"Nope!" I shouted, slamming my bat into it mid-lunge.
[Combat Triggered – Trap Entity: "Arouslime" (Lv. 28)]
Weakness: Ice, Purity
Strength: Grapples, Lust-Induction
"Of course it's a freaking pervert jelly," I growled.
Raven rolled, came up firing — boom, boom, boom. Goop splattered. The thing screeched and recoiled.
I slammed its core with my bat, activating Seduction Sync.
[Skill Activation – Seducer's Resonance: Team Combat Mode]
+10% DMG and Coordination when bonded partners fight side by side
We moved like one.
She shot. I distracted.
She reloaded. I shielded her back.
We tore through the goop until it hissed, shriveled, and melted into the floor.
Raven wiped slime from her cheek, breathing hard. Her top was half-ripped.
I tried not to stare.
Tried.
[Bond Progress – Raven: 30% → 34%]
Trait Deepening: "Trust Forming (Reluctant)"
Dialogue Path Unlocked: "Vulnerable Moments"
"That was close," she said, chest rising and falling.
"Yeah," I said, eyes not helping, "but hot."
She didn't punch me this time.
Progress.
Meanwhile – Left Path
Mei and Lira reached a circular chamber filled with mirrors.
Lira stepped forward, eyes narrowed. "This is a Bond Trial Room."
"Cool," Mei said. "Do we have to kiss?"
"Maybe."
The mirrors lit up. A voice echoed.
"Choose the challenger who desires you most. Touch the glass to begin."
Mei raised an eyebrow. "So… whoever gets horny harder wins?"
Lira smiled. "Looks like it."
She turned toward one of the mirrors and placed her hand on it.
It flashed red.
Then—
BOOM.
The mirror shattered, and a figure launched out of the glass, landing in a crouch.
Female. Late teens. Blood-red hair tied in twin tails. Dressed in what looked like… black lingerie and thigh-high armored boots.
"FUCK YES," she shouted, licking her lips. "A lust-type mirror clone? My favorite!"
Mei's jaw dropped. "Wait. You're real?"
The girl grinned, pulling twin daggers from her thighs.
"Name's Iris. I've been living in here. Fighting horny monsters. Beating trials. Getting stronger."
She winked. "You guys just popped my boredom cherry."
[New Character Detected – Iris, Dungeon Survivor / Class: Mirror Assassin]
Traits: Horny, Unstable, Highly Compatible
Harem Rank Potential: High
Special Condition Met: "Lust Survivor" – May join party if sufficiently impressed (or aroused)
Mei laughed. "Holy crap. I love her."
Iris smirked. "You can love me later. For now? Let's kill stuff."
Back Together – Dungeon Nexus Room
The team regrouped. I saw the new girl and immediately thought: Oh no. I'm in danger.
Black straps. Bare midriff. Leather. Way too enthusiastic eyes.
She saw me and purred.
"So you're the harem guy."
I blinked. "Uh… how'd you know?"
"Dungeons whisper," she said, grinning. "And I listen."
[Alert: Class Concealment Bypassed – Iris has Dungeon-Sync Perception]
Risk Level: Medium
She knows what you are
"She's insane," Raven muttered.
"I'm into it," Mei said.
Lira, of course, just smiled. "Interesting."
And me?
I just stood there, rock hard from ambient dungeon vibes, covered in slime goo, and surrounded by three hot women who all might kill each other or kiss me in the next ten minutes.
God, I love this game world.