I took a shaky step forward, the sharp crunch of gravel beneath my foot breaking the heavy silence. And there he was…
Simon.
Sitting by the riverside.
Still. Silent.
His back faced me, shoulders slightly hunched, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on them. He wasn't moving. Not crying. Not breathing, it seemed. Just… staring into the water like it was the only thing that made sense anymore.
My heart twisted. A deep, hollow ache settled in my chest.
I had thought about this moment a thousand times, what I'd say to him if we ever talked. Maybe a soft "hi," or something awkward about school or books. Something safe. Normal. But this wasn't normal. Nothing about this was.
I took one step closer. Then another.
And then I froze.
Suddenly, tears began sliding down my cheeks. I hadn't even realized it. My vision blurred. My hands trembled at my sides.
Why does it hurt this much?
I opened my mouth, wanting to call out to him. To say something just anything.
But instead... I turned around.
I couldn't do it. I wasn't brave enough. He didn't need some random boy from school awkwardly trying to play hero. He needed peace and space.
But just as I turned to leave, a dry twig cracked beneath my foot.
The sound was small, barely there. But in that stillness, it echoed like a scream.
He turned and both our eyes met.
His eyes, those soft, almond-shaped eyes I had memorized from afar were now dull. Like glass left out in the rain, cracked and wet and clouded over.
They didn't widen in surprise. He didn't flinch. Just… looked at me. Like I was a passing breeze.
Like I didn't matter.
And maybe I didn't.
Still, I stood there, half-turned away, caught between running and staying. Between cowardice and something else I didn't have a name for.
He blinked slowly.
"Who are you?" he asked.
His voice was low and hoarse, like it hadn't been used in days. It sounded tired like the wind itself had to carry it to me.
I turned fully toward him, heart crashing inside my chest. My throat closed up.
"I… I…" I stammered, completely forgetting how to speak. "I… I…"
Great.
Just what he needed, a stuttering stranger showing up like some broken record.
His eyes dropped to my uniform. He tilted his head, studying me.
"Did the school send you?"
I shook my head instinctively. "No."
Then I immediately regretted it.
"…Yes," I corrected quickly. "Sort of. They…they wanted to know how you were doing. Everyone's worried."
That was a lie. A soft one. A kind one. No one asked about Simon after the initial gasp and whispers. Everyone had moved on except me.
Simon's lips curled into a smile. But it didn't reach his eyes.
"I'm fine," he said.
And somehow, that broke me more than the news had.
I took a breath. "Lying"
His eyes narrowed. "Why are you lying?"
"I'm not," I said quickly. "I mean—you're the one lying."
A pause. Silence stretched between us, carried on the breeze. The river whispered behind him, flowing like nothing had happened.
He turned away again, back to the water. His shoulders rose and fell with a sigh.
"Even if I say I'm not fine," he said quietly, "what would that change?"
I said nothing. Because I didn't know. Maybe it wouldn't change anything. But he was still here. And so was I.
"You wouldn't give them back to me, would you?" he asked.
That question wasn't meant for me. It was for the sky, or the river, or God. Whatever he thought was listening.
His voice cracked just a little.
"He doesn't care if I'm fine or not. If it hurts or doesn't. If I sleep or scream or fall apart." He picked up a pebble and tossed it weakly into the water. "At the end of the day, He'll do what He wants. However, he wants to and whenever he wants."
The pebble hit the water and vanished.
He turned his face slightly, just enough for me to see the tears rolling down his cheek.
They weren't loud or dramatic. Just quiet trails of grief no one was meant to witness.
I stayed where I was.
I didn't want to scare him. I didn't want to ruin whatever fragile thread was holding this moment together.
But inside me, something started to burn.
I clenched my fist so tightly that my nails dug into my palm.
My eyes lifted toward the sky. Blue, calm, and empty.
Jimmy (internal monologue):
You shouldn't have made him cry, you shouldn't have hurt him.
He doesn't deserve this. He deserves peace and joy.
He deserves someone to hold him when he breaks.
You were supposed to protect people like him.
But you didn't.
Simon suddenly spoke again, voice barely above a whisper.
"…Why did you come here?"
I blinked. His back was still turned, but the question hit me straight in the chest.
Why did I come?
Not because of the school. Not because of curiosity.
But because of him.
Because I couldn't bear the thought of him crying alone by some river, while the world just kept spinning.
But I couldn't say that. So I said the next best thing.
"…I didn't want you to be alone."
Simon didn't reply. He sat there, frozen.
And then—
He reached up slowly and wiped his face with the sleeve of his oversized hoodie. He sniffled softly.
"I'm always alone," he said.
There was no anger in it. No blame. Just a quiet truth. Like he'd already accepted that the world had made space for his pain and moved on without him.
I took a careful step forward.
Then another.
He didn't stop me.
The river gurgled. The sky darkened just slightly, like dusk was listening too.
I finally reached him. He didn't look up at me not did I attempt to sit beside him. I just stood there, close enough for him to feel my shadow.
And after a long silence, he whispered, "Thank you."
And that was enough.