"Naure…"I heard the sadness in his voice even before I looked—so I knew something was wrong.
He walked toward the bed and rested his head on my lap while I quietly adjusted my sitting position, still holding the book I was reading.
"Naure," he called again—this time, his hand started fidgeting with the pages of my book. I sighed and set it aside.
"What is it?" I asked, looking down at him.
He avoided my gaze and exhaled deeply. "What if…" he paused and took another breath, "what if someone starts courting you? Or if someone falls for you? What happens to me then?" he asked, voice laced with sadness.
I frowned, confused, and looked at him. "What do you mean what happens to you?"
"What if your suitor—or boyfriend—tells you to stop spending time with me? What if he says you should stay away from me?" he continued, still with that same sad tone.
I shook my head. "Where are these questions even coming from? We're too young to be thinking about that." I tried to dodge the topic, but he just kept looking at me—waiting for an answer. I sighed.
"Well… if he tells me that, I think I'd break up with him," I answered while nodding to myself.
Emilliano suddenly sat up, his eyes sparkling—and that gummy smile I'd grown so used to stretched across his face. "Really?" he asked excitedly.
I nodded and went back to reading. "Of course. I know you better than anyone. I'd rather leave them than avoid you."
Back then, I really thought I'd choose to leave just to stay by his side.But now… in the present time—I think I'd rather avoid him than be the one left behind for him.
"Azaleiah, Azaleiah, Azaleiah…" Cathy said in disbelief as we entered our room.
I dropped onto the bed, drained and staring blankly into space.
"What is going on with you? Are you even here right now?" she asked, giving my shoulder a little tap.
I sighed and bowed my head. "Cathrine… why is it like this?" I asked, voice almost cracking. "Why is it so hard to avoid him?"
I felt her sit beside me before pulling me close, her arm wrapped around me.
"Azaleiah, ever since you were kids—you were always together, remember? Where you were, he was there too. When you were gone, he was gone. Now that the world's pulling you two back together… why are you still questioning it?"
Her words hit me hard. I instinctively brought my hands to my face, brushing it down as I shook my head slowly.
"It's too soon…" I whispered. "I don't want to end up alone again, Cathy," I said with a heavy heart.
She shook her head silently beside me, and we both just sat there in the quiet.
"…Do you ever wonder if maybe you should've stopped him from leaving?"I turned to her, stunned by her question.
I froze. Out of all the things she could've asked, that was the one I wasn't ready for. I looked away, unable to answer.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "For six years… I did everything I could to stay busy. I threw myself into work, locked myself in my studio—just so I wouldn't think of him. I stopped myself from texting him, calling him… I did all that because…"I couldn't even finish the sentence. My lips fell silent, but my chest—my heart—grew heavier with every word I didn't say.
"Six years, Leiah… why are you still hiding?"
I could feel the tears welling up, so I looked up and wiped them away with the back of my hand. I didn't want to be emotional—but I was weak when it came to two people: my mother… and him.
I've avoided talking about him so many times. I've kept myself from remembering him for so long.But why is fate doing this?Why do we have to be together again now?For what?To heal? Or to hurt even more?
I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep with those questions still circling in my head.I woke up around 4 a.m. to start packing. I left a quick note for Cathy:
"Emergency, gotta go back soon. See you, Alligator!"
It was a lie, though.I just wanted to escape again—to find that peace I had when I got used to life without him.I didn't want to go through it again. I didn't want to get hurt again.
But just as I made that decision to run… I saw him.
On the terrace. Looking up at the sky.I walked quietly, praying he wouldn't notice me—or at least wouldn't say anything.
But really, who was I fooling?
"Are you leaving?"He turned to me, and I froze in my steps.
I looked away and bit the inside of my lip. "Y-Yeah…" I answered softly.
"Hmh."He nodded before turning his gaze back to the sky.
I sighed and slowly walked over to stand beside him. There was still a wide space between us, but we both stared up at the dark sky.
We didn't say anything.Oddly enough, the silence didn't feel awkward.It felt… comforting.
"I can't sleep," he suddenly said, cutting through the silence.
I glanced at him briefly before looking down. "Are you still taking sleeping pills?" I asked, hesitant.
I heard him hum. "Yeah… sometimes. When I really need to." he said with a smile. "But I try not to—Luis keeps scolding me." he added with a chuckle.
I smiled slightly and nodded. "That's good…" I said, but I felt his eyes on me, which made me fidget a little. "I mean… I'm glad Luis is there to stop you from overusing them." I cleared my throat.
Silence again. A long one.Until he suddenly called my name.
"Naure…"
I glanced at him. "What?"
"Stay with me tonight."
My eyes widened and I turned to look at him—our eyes met.And just like that, his words drowned out everything else.But… a part of my heart quietly fluttered.
I smiled at him. "Alright."
I held my hand out in front of him—he looked at it for a moment before his smile widened and he took it. I gently pulled him toward his room and sat on the edge of his bed while he lay down on the far side.
We were on the same bed—but the space between us felt wide.Not like before. Back then, he slept on the couch while I took the bed, but even then, it never felt this distant.It was never this quiet.It was never this heavy.
I looked away.
"Naure?"I turned again—his eyes were closed now, facing me. His arm served as his pillow.
"Hmh?" I responded.
"Thank you…"
I was supposed to leave, wasn't I?I was supposed to run.But how is it that one simple stay with me tonight is all it takes…to bring me back to him?