---
Jinwoo was sitting in the back of a stolen self-driving delivery van that reeked of onion rings, grappling with the fact that he had somehow become the most wanted man in the world—for a meme.
The van swerved through the city like it had a death wish. Outside, sirens howled. Drones buzzed above them like angry hornets. Street billboards screamed:
WANTED: JINWOO KIM
"Destroyer of Fries, Hater of Humanity, Global Root Threat Level 7."
REWARD: ₩120M + Lifetime Sauce Upgrade™
He turned to the woman beside him.
She was silent, scrolling through a wristpad interface that looked like it had been ripped from a sci-fi movie. She hadn't blinked in twenty minutes. Her cybernetic eyes glowed faintly, casting a ghostly violet light across her expressionless face.
Finally, Jinwoo found his voice.
"So… just checking… I'm being hunted by… global fast food mercenaries?"
"Yes," said Eir Solanum, still scrolling. "The Fry Knights. McDonald's private paramilitary unit. Highly trained. Crispy. No mercy."
"And… you're a defector from some potato cult?"
She stopped. Looked at him.
"I was Chief of Tubergenics. We engineered starch-based neuro-control compounds in root vegetables. I left when they started flavor-testing on children's meals."
There was a pause.
"I thought that video was satire," Jinwoo muttered.
"It was," Eir said. "But satire is dangerous when it's close to the truth."
Jinwoo slumped back against the wall of the van. "I just wanted to be funny. Get a few followers. Maybe land a podcast deal."
Eir stared at him like he'd asked to eat raw cyanide. "You're not funny. You're catalytic."
"…Thanks?"
---
Meanwhile – At an Undisclosed Fry Fortress
A conference room buzzed with tension. Big names. Golden arches. Military suits made of fry cartons and ketchup-slick medals.
A man with slicked-back hair and a voice like buttered rage slammed a fist on the table.
"He's destabilizing everything! Peru's collapsed! Idaho's in open revolt! The EU has stopped importing hash browns!"
A general in nugget-camo nodded grimly. "The Spud Line in Eastern Europe is falling. Our tater-tot reserves are down 30%. The people are getting hungry—and angry."
On the screen above them, Jinwoo's thumbnail face blinked.
"EXPOSED: The Tuber Agenda"
Views: 52,110,439
Root Threat Level: RED
"We need him gone," muttered the CEO of DeepFryst™, sipping from a golden goblet of ranch dressing.
---
Back in the Van
"Where are we going?" Jinwoo asked, gripping a bag of emergency curly fries.
"Off-grid," Eir said. "To meet the Resistance."
"There's a Resistance?"
"Of course. Not everyone is pro-root. We've been hiding in the shadows. Waiting."
"…Waiting for what?"
She looked at him. Really looked.
"For you."
He choked on a fry. "Me?! I'm a guy who once tried to livestream himself doing taxes!"
"You lit the match," Eir said, calmly pulling a blindfold from the glovebox. "Now you're the fire."
The van skidded around a corner, then descended into a hidden underground tunnel that opened behind what used to be a Wendy's.
The revolution had begun.
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