Chapter 3: The Clan Census and the Cringe of Destiny
The sun was high when Izumi and Kushina finally emerged from the Senju compound, not entirely rested but buzzing with a peculiar energy. Izumi felt an undeniable surge of vitality coursing through him, the Senju Physique a constant hum beneath his skin. Kushina, on the other hand, radiated a determined cheerfulness that was almost terrifying. She had a scroll tucked under her arm, which, knowing Kushina, probably contained a list of Konoha's eligible kunoichi and their respective bloodlines.
"Alright, Izumi-kun!" Kushina declared, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. "First order of business: breakfast. Then, we need to talk strategy."
"Strategy for what, exactly?" Izumi asked, trying to sound nonchalant as he adjusted his shinobi vest. He was acutely aware of the subtle shift in his own body, the heightened senses, the effortless strength. It felt good, undeniably, but the source of it still made him squirm.
"For the clan, obviously!" Kushina chirped, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "The System was practically shouting at me all morning. It's very keen on 'diversifying the gene pool' for 'optimal power integration.' Plus, it gave me a few... pointers."
Izumi sighed. "Pointers. Right. Let me guess, 'Host should engage in vigorous physical activity to stimulate natural chakra flow for future... endeavors'?"
Kushina snorted, swatting his arm playfully. "Close! More like, 'Host's genetic compatibility with Uzumaki partner is high, but long-term power scaling benefits from wider ancestral contributions. Recommend preliminary research into Hyūga, Sarutobi, and Yamanaka lines.'" She paused, a glint in her eye. "It even ranked them by 'potential chakra and Kekkei Genkai synergy.' The Hyūga are apparently 'Exceptional A-tier.'"
Izumi nearly tripped. "It gave you rankings? Kushina, this is not a ninja mission debrief! We're talking about... people. Women."
"Exactly!" she said brightly. "And this is a mission, isn't it? The most important one! Rebuilding the glorious Senju clan. Think of it as a strategic recruitment drive, but way more fun." She then leaned closer, her voice dropping conspiratorially. "And," she added, winking, "it also mentioned something about 'Host's unique physical endowments requiring multiple outlets for… sustained wellness.' It's really quite concerned about your health, Izumi-kun."
Izumi felt his face flush hot enough to shame his new Wood Style saplings. "Okay, that's enough from the System for one morning. Let's just... get some ramen."
As they walked through the bustling Konoha streets, Izumi found himself subtly observing the women they passed. Before, they were just fellow villagers or kunoichi. Now, with the System's absurd mission humming in the background and Kushina's commentary, he couldn't help but see them through a ridiculously analytical lens. A kunoichi with the Hyūga's Byakugan walking by; "Exceptional A-tier," his mind echoed Kushina's words. A spirited Yamanaka from the flower shop; "High B-tier, potential for sensory enhancement." It was both absurd and strangely compelling.
He caught Kushina stifling a giggle. "What?" he mumbled.
"Nothing," she said, though her eyes twinkled. "Just wondering which one the System would approve of for 'first contact.' Probably the one carrying the heaviest shopping bags. Good stamina. Efficient."
"Kushina!" Izumi hissed, mortified.
They settled into their usual booth at Ichiraku Ramen. Teuchi-san greeted them warmly, already preparing their orders. As Izumi slurped down his noodles, he tried to focus on the familiar comfort, but his mind kept drifting back to the System. He extended his chakra, feeling it swirl and expand effortlessly, denser and more profound than before. It was like a wellspring that continuously replenished itself. He briefly tested a subtle Wood Style jutsu under the table, making a tiny, intricate wooden flower bloom in his palm before quickly dispelling it. The control was intuitive, almost innate. The System had truly given him the raw power. Now, it was up to him to master it. And apparently, expand his family.
"So, about those 'random blessings'," Kushina mused, poking at her fish cake. "Did the System say anything about when they kick in?"
Just as she finished the sentence, Izumi felt a strange tingle behind his eyes. He blinked, and the world seemed to sharpen. He could suddenly discern the individual threads of Teuchi's apron, the minuscule dust motes dancing in the sunlight, the subtle shifts in chakra flow of everyone in the restaurant. It was like his vision had received a sudden, extreme upgrade.
["Random Blessing Acquired: Enhanced Visual Acuity. Range and detail perception increased by 150%." "Note: This blessing will also improve accuracy in long-range target acquisition and... intimate partner appreciation."]
Izumi choked on a mouthful of ramen. He spluttered, nearly spitting noodles across the table. Kushina, however, burst into peals of laughter, clapping her hands.
"Oh, that's a good one!" she gasped, wiping tears from her eyes. "Intimate partner appreciation! The System really is a perv, isn't it? What'd you see, Izumi-kun? Did Teuchi have a secret mole?"
"It's... nothing!" Izumi stammered, feeling his face burn. He tried to ignore the System's perfectly timed, utterly unhelpful commentary. He could suddenly see every single eyelash on Kushina's face, the faint freckles dusting her nose, the way her chakra pulsed warmly beneath her skin. It was... distracting. And highly embarrassing.
"This is going to be quite the adventure, isn't it?" Kushina said, her laughter subsiding into a fond, knowing smile. "Clan leader, chakra-doubler, perv-System listener. You've got it all, Izumi-kun."
He just sighed, pushing his empty ramen bowl away. "Just tell me one thing, Kushina. Does this 'System' have an 'off' button?"
Kushina patted his hand. "Nope! The System just said: 'Host's current course of action: optimal for progression. No off-button detected. Enjoy the journey, Host.' So, buckle up, Izumi-kun. Our family's about to get much, much bigger."
Izumi just stared at her, then out at the bustling street, seeing it all in crisp, almost overwhelming detail. His destiny wasn't just about fighting; it was about bedding, breeding, and blushing. He was the last Senju, chosen by a perverted system to rebuild his clan, one intimate encounter at a time. And with Kushina leading the charge, he had a sneaking suspicion his life was about to become an endless series of power-ups and public embarrassments.