Chapter 23: The Sleepwalker Spies – Or, "Your Deepest Secrets, Revealed in a Sarcastic Sleep-Talk Monologue."
The success of the "Trojan Horse Hilarity" operation sent ripples through the intelligence community. S.H.I.E.L.D. (or what was left of it, now operating as a leaner, more covert organization under Fury's distant guidance) was impressed, if utterly perplexed. The Avengers, while still raising eyebrows at Adam's methods, couldn't deny their effectiveness. HYDRA, on the other hand, was furious and, more importantly, confused.
' Phase two of the HYDRA Prank War. Last time, it was environmental chaos and poultry. This time, it's psychological warfare. With a hint of public humiliation. Because what's worse than having your evil plans thwarted? Having them thwarted by a guy who makes your agents talk in their sleep about their secret love for knitting and their hatred of kale. It's all about breaking their morale. And their dignity. '
The next target was Senator Thaddeus Thorne, a rising political star. Intel suggested he was a deep-cover HYDRA sleeper agent, positioned to influence legislation against enhanced individuals. He was meticulously careful, leaving no digital or paper trail. Conventional methods were hitting a brick wall.
"We can't prove anything," Natasha admitted during a tactical meeting. "He's too clean. Too careful. His public persona is impeccable."
"He's a HYDRA agent," Adam stated, casually sipping his (magically brewed) Earl Grey. "Trust me. The meta-narrative demands it. Plus, he's got that 'too perfect' vibe, you know? Like a villain in a cheesy spy movie who thinks he's being subtle, but you can see the sinister mustache twirl from a mile away."
Tony scoffed. "And how, pray tell, do we expose this 'too perfect' senator, Stiels? With another giant rubber chicken?"
"No, no, Tony. Too obvious now," Adam waved a dismissive hand. "This requires finesse. Subtlety. And the power of a really good, very revealing nap. Or, in this case, a really good, very revealing sleepwalk."
He outlined his plan: using King's Haki to induce a unique form of sleepwalking and sleep-talking. Not a full blackout, but a state where the subject would be highly suggestible, their subconscious mind bubbling to the surface, especially when prompted. The goal was to make Senator Thorne, during a crucial televised committee hearing, inadvertently spill the beans on his HYDRA connections through a rambling, seemingly nonsensical, yet deeply incriminating, monologue.
"You want to make him… talk in his sleep… during a public hearing?" Steve asked, utterly incredulous.
"Precisely! Think of the optics, Cap! The sheer, unadulterated confusion! The media frenzy!" Adam beamed. "He'll be awake enough to answer questions, but his subconscious will be doing all the heavy lifting. And with a little help from my mental influence, his answers might come out with a certain… flair. A sarcastic flair, perhaps. Just to add insult to injury."
The opportunity arose during a Senate hearing on national security, broadcast live. Senator Thorne was giving a passionate speech about the dangers of unchecked meta-human power. Adam was positioned in the viewing gallery, seemingly just another curious citizen.
He focused his King's Haki, targeting Thorne. It wasn't about power, but precision. A gentle, persistent nudge on Thorne's subconscious, inducing the specific sleep-talking state. He coupled it with a subtle mental suggestion: You are tired. So very tired. And your true thoughts… they want to be heard.
Mid-sentence, Thorne visibly swayed, his eyes glazing over for a fraction of a second. He blinked, shaking his head slightly, but continued speaking. His voice, however, took on a strangely detached, almost dreamy quality.
"…and therefore, these super-powered individuals must be brought to heel…," Thorne droned, then suddenly his eyes widened slightly, a faint, sardonic smile playing on his lips, though he seemed unaware of it. "…heel, indeed. As if our illustrious 'leaders' here aren't just as prone to, shall we say, misguided agendas. Such as, oh, I don't know, a global organization with roots in a certain German movement, still clinging to delusions of grandeur while pretending to be 'concerned citizens.'"
The room stirred. The other senators exchanged confused glances.
"Senator Thorne, are you quite alright?" the committee chairman interjected nervously.
Thorne seemed to snap back to full awareness for a moment, blinking. "Quite alright, Chairman! Just… passionate! Where was I? Ah, yes! Accountability!" He then subtly swayed again, his eyes taking on that dreamy look. "Accountability! A lovely word. Almost as lovely as 'supreme global domination' by a select few. Which, let's be honest, is far more efficient than democracy. Democracy is so… messy. All those opinions. Ugh." He shuddered, then seemed to recover briefly.
The live broadcast was picking up every bizarre inflection, every sarcastic undertone. News anchors were already scrambling.
"Senator Thorne," a reporter called out, "are you implying a hidden agenda within the government?"
Thorne's head lolled slightly, his eyes half-closed. "Hidden agenda? Darling, it's not hidden if you're looking closely enough. It's right there, wrapped in a flag and humming a particularly obnoxious patriotic tune. It's called 'Project Chimera,' for instance. A marvelous name, wouldn't you say? So evocative. Almost makes you forget the 'genocide' part."
Adam, watching the live feed from a secure location with the Avengers, had to clap a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Natasha and Steve were staring at the screen, utterly dumbfounded. Clint was roaring with laughter.
"Project Chimera?" Steve whispered, looking at Natasha. "Is that a real HYDRA project?"
Natasha, her face pale, nodded slowly. "Yes. A highly classified, theoretical project for bio-weaponized super-soldiers. Even we barely knew about it."
"This is insane," Tony muttered, but a flicker of grudging admiration was in his eyes.
Thorne continued his involuntary confession, his words becoming increasingly revealing, laced with his subconscious cynicism and Adam's subtle sarcastic influence. He spoke of secret accounts, coded messages, and even complained about the "drudgery of recruiting new zealots; they just don't have the same passion for global fascism anymore. It's quite disheartening."
Adam felt his Universal Remote vibrate in his pocket. He'd used it several times during the hearing to "rewind" moments where Thorne nearly woke up completely, ensuring the confession continued. He also "fast-forwarded" through boring bureaucratic questions to get back to the juicy parts. The battery was draining, but it was worth it.
[ SYSTEM MESSAGE: Universal Remote (Click) battery low. Recommend recharge by Tony Stark. ]
' Yeah, yeah, I know. Tony's going to be so confused by this remote. "It rewound time, but only for the senator's speech?! And it only works in 10-second increments?! What kind of shoddy tech is this, Stiels?!" It'll be great. '
The hearing was adjourned in pandemonium. Senator Thorne, after delivering his spectacular, sleep-induced confession, suddenly snapped fully awake, looking utterly bewildered and exhausted. He remembered nothing. But the recorded evidence, the bizarre, sarcastic monologue, was all over the news. An investigation was launched immediately. Thorne's political career was over, his HYDRA connections exposed in the most humiliatingly public way imaginable.
"Stiels," Natasha said, looking at him with a mix of awe and terror, "you are either a genius or a madman. I can't decide."
"Why not both, Natasha? Why not both?" Adam grinned, feeling a deep satisfaction. Another HYDRA operative taken down, not with a bang, but with a bewildered, sleep-talking whimper. The HYDRA Prank War was officially escalating.