Chapter 1: My First Day on Prehistoric Earth Sucks
Pain. That was my first thought as I woke up. Everything hurt, from my head to my toes, even muscles I didn't know existed were protesting violently. Groaning, I slowly opened my eyes, squinting immediately at the blinding sunlight.
"Ugh," I muttered, pushing myself up into a sitting position. "Did I seriously reincarnate as roadkill? Couldn't I at least get a proper isekai entrance with a cute goddess or something?"
As I adjusted my eyes, the blurry shapes around me came into clearer focus. Massive ferns, towering trees, unfamiliar flowers the size of my head… and more troublingly, enormous footprints leading to and from my current position. Definitely not Kansas, or even Earth as I knew it.
I stood up shakily, brushing dirt off my body. Then I froze. Wait—body? My heart rate sped up, and I quickly glanced down, confirming I was indeed human-shaped. Relief washed over me. "Okay, human form, check. Two legs, two arms, fully intact and apparently still handsome? Check." I chuckled dryly.
My momentary humor evaporated instantly as the ground beneath me trembled. The tremors grew stronger, rhythmic, and thunderous, as if announcing something colossal approaching.
"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," I sighed dramatically, turning around slowly.
A gigantic creature lumbered into view, massive jaws lined with razor-sharp teeth, predatory eyes locked onto me. Its muscular legs propelled it forward with terrifying speed, its powerful tail swaying ominously.
"First day alive, and I'm already someone's breakfast?" I said incredulously. "Fantastic reincarnation experience. Ten out of ten, would die again."
The beast roared, shaking the forest around me, and charged. Instinctively, I turned to run but stumbled over uneven terrain. The creature's shadow engulfed me as its jaws clamped down mercilessly, darkness instantly swallowing my vision.
—
A heartbeat later, my eyes flew open again. I gasped, taking in a lungful of humid air. Panicking, my hands shot to my chest, my face, searching desperately for the massive, fatal wounds I knew I should have.
Nothing.
Not even a scratch.
"What in the actual hell?" I muttered, staring at my hands. I was completely unharmed. Better yet, I felt stronger, lighter, my senses sharper. Memories from moments ago rushed back vividly—the pain, the fear, the horrifying realization of impending doom.
And yet, I was alive.
"Okay, I died. That sucked. But I'm back… less dead than expected." I stood slowly, experimentally flexing my arms and legs. Curiosity bubbled within me, an idea forming.
"Could it be?" I whispered hopefully. "Did I get some crazy, cool power?"
I needed to test it. Glancing around quickly, I spotted a sizable boulder a short distance away. With determination, I marched toward it, climbed atop it, and without hesitation, jumped off headfirst.
I landed hard with a loud thud, but felt no pain. Not even discomfort. Laughing incredulously, I brushed off more dirt and leaves. "Holy crap, I'm basically immortal! Hope this doesn't make me overconfident." Immediately, my foot caught on a vine, sending me sprawling face-first into mud.
"…Confidence is officially dead," I groaned, wiping grime from my face.
After cleaning myself up again, I ventured further into this strange new world. Rustling ahead caught my attention. Carefully, I crept forward, peeking from behind massive ferns.
A small group of primitive humans—real, actual primitive humans—were huddled together, trembling with fear. Approaching menacingly was another monster, smaller than the first but still dangerously large and vicious-looking.
Instinctively, protectively, something stirred inside me. My body tensed, heart racing. "Fine," I muttered. "Hero time it is. Just don't scream and run, guys."
Bursting from my hiding place, I awkwardly waved to the tribe as I sprinted towards the beast. "Hello prehistoric people! Ignore my weird clothes—long story! I'm friendly, probably!"
The creature spun toward me, roaring angrily. I gulped, realizing this might've been a horrible idea. Too late now. The monster lunged. I sidestepped clumsily, narrowly avoiding becoming its second meal of the day.
"Who taught you manners?!" I snapped sarcastically, ducking another swipe. "No biting strangers!"
The tribe watched, mesmerized and terrified, as I stumbled and rolled, narrowly avoiding lethal blows. Just when I thought I'd gotten the hang of dodging, I stumbled again, directly into the beast's path. Its claws tore painfully into my side, and I gasped in shock.
Gritting my teeth against the pain, I struck back instinctively. To my astonishment, my fist connected powerfully, the force of the blow sending the beast staggering back. I stared dumbly at my hand. "Did I just get stronger mid-battle?"
A surge of determination coursed through me. Pain rapidly faded from my side, replaced by renewed energy. Lunging forward confidently, I landed another powerful strike, then another. Each hit became easier, more fluid, and stronger.
Finally, I struck decisively, the creature collapsing in defeat. Covered in sweat and dirt, I stood victoriously, turning toward the awestruck tribe. "See? Totally planned that. Definitely wasn't panicking."
A brave young woman stepped forward hesitantly, her dark eyes wide with admiration and curiosity. She reached out, poking my healed wounds in wonder. "Strong. How you no dead?"
I chuckled, rubbing the back of my head awkwardly. "Trust me, I tried."
The rest of the tribe cautiously approached, murmuring excitedly in their primitive language. I tried communicating through gestures, though my attempts ended in comedic confusion. Soon, everyone was copying my movements—scratching their heads and shrugging dramatically. "Fantastic. I'm reinventing culture," I laughed softly. "First contribution: the facepalm."
As the tribe welcomed me, they offered food—strange fruits, roots, and what appeared to be cooked meat. Hesitantly, I tried a fruit, immediately regretting it as fiery spice erupted in my mouth. Gasping, eyes watering, I sprinted to the river, frantically drinking water as the tribe roared with laughter.
"My taste buds haven't evolved yet," I managed weakly, coughing. "Noted."
That night, sitting around a fire beneath a starlit sky, I reflected quietly. "Died twice, fought dinosaurs, nearly poisoned by prehistoric hot sauce, and still no clue what the hell is going on." I chuckled warmly. "Perfect first day."
But despite everything, warmth filled me. These people, primitive as they were, had welcomed me openly. Maybe prehistoric life wouldn't be so bad… as long as nothing else tried eating me today.
As if summoned by my thoughts, a distant roar shattered the tranquility. The tribe stiffened in fear, eyes wide, murmuring fearfully. My smile vanished, replaced with exaggerated frustration. "Seriously? Can't I have one peaceful prehistoric night?"
Determinedly, I rose, fists clenched, golden-white energy faintly glowing beneath my skin. The tribe watched in awe as I marched toward the approaching threat. "Fine," I declared confidently. "Let's introduce them to evolutionary theory—the painful version."
With that, I charged forward, heart racing, ready for whatever came next.