I woke up to the white ceiling.
I blinked a little, my eyes flimsy.
The noise, I thought, confused.
The fact that I lived alone… but then, I heard distant voices talking. And I was a hundred percent sure it wasn't the neighbors, because my apartment was soundproof.
I stepped out of my bed and slowly descended the stairs, wearing nothing but black shorts and with no weapon to protect myself from any thieves.
But then, arriving at the living room—where most of the noise came from—my eyes widened frantically.
And I was sure even a thief would've been better than this.
I looked at my family sitting on my couch in horror, and my dad pacing from left to right.
How... did they find me? After all these years, how could they find me now?
I thought, my pupils shaking. My mother's head turned and saw me. She stood up and walked toward me—but before she could touch me, I stepped back and walked toward Ray, who looked down the second he saw me.
"How did they find me, Ray?" I asked through clenched teeth. Ray bowed his head in shame before sighing and meeting my eyes.
"I had no choice, Eugene... Mom already found out that I was secretly meeting you. And if I didn't show them where you lived, they would've cut off my bank account," Ray said, and my eye twitched.
I laughed slowly and looked at the ground.
"You mean to say… you betrayed me—just for money, Ray?!" I shouted, and Ray flinched. I felt a hand touch my shoulder.
"Eugene, don't shout at your younger brother. He was right to tell us where you live. You left us for seven years," Jade—my mother—said.
And I felt like laughing.
Was this a fucking joke?
I turned fully and looked straight into her eyes.
"And why did I leave, Mother?" I asked.
She looked at me before closing her eyes.
"And how was I supposed to know? You suddenly left… after our argument," she said, trailing off.
I looked at her and chuckled loudly.
"And you're saying you don't know why I left? You told me to leave if I wanted. What—you thought I was going to come back? And I burst your little fucking bubble, didn't I? How's your pride now—chasing after the child you threw away like dirt?!"
Jade gasped. Tears started forming in her eyes. I clicked my tongue.
"Eugene Blackwood! How could you talk to your mother like that?" my father yelled, hugging my now-crying mother. "She has feelings! How could you say something like that to her?" Mr. Blackwood said, glaring at me.
And just like that… it was as if I'd traveled back in time.
Back to the small Eugene who would break at every shout.
Who would smile even when dying inside.
I looked at my father.
"Don't I have fucking feelings...?" I whispered, looking at the ground.
"What happened to my sweet little Eugene?" Jade cried.
"He died... the day you killed him yourself, Mother," I said, and Jade's eyes widened.
"The day you looked me straight in the eyes and said you wished I died and not Ethan. That's when he died. You forced me to act—to become a copy of my dead older brother."
I picked up a shirt from the couch and turned to leave, ignoring my mother's voice screaming my name. I unlocked the door and left the house. I leaned against the elevator wall.
Trying to forget those... hurtful memories.
Ethan's blood on my shirt.
The scream and the horror.
It's funny... all of that happened to a fifteen-year-old child.
The beep of the elevator snapped me out of my daze. I walked out, slightly disoriented. My phone rang in my pocket, making me realize it was the same coat I wore yesterday.
Remembering yesterday, a small smile made its way to my lips.
Xu Zihan.
The name slipped from my lips.
I sighed and answered the phone.
Sarah's loud voice echoed in my eardrums, making me flinch a little.
"Where are you? It's 6:50 a.m... the café's about to open!" Sarah asked, clearly worried.
I sighed, looking at the cherry blossoms dusted with snow.
"Can I take leave… just for today?" I asked, and I could hear Sarah gasp loudly.
"What? Why?! What happened—are you okay?" she asked quickly, making me chuckle.
"Feeling a little under the weather," I said, starting to walk.
"Are you okay? Is it that bad?" she asked again.
I smiled.
"No… it's not. I'll be fine tomorrow," I said. I heard her mumble something, but I couldn't catch it.
But after the mumbling, I only heard,
"Be safe,"
before she hung up.
I looked at the ground silently. The fresh smell of winter snow and the floral scent of cherry blossoms…
I couldn't lie—I used to love that smell. So much that I would walk outside and stay for hours, inhaling that natural, wintery floral scent.
But ever since I smelled the sweet, milky vanilla scent…
Every other smell became plain.
Only that sweet scent could make my heart beat faster.
Could make me blush like a teenager.
I sighed again, realizing I was thinking about him again.
In everything I thought about… his face would appear.
In every scent wafting around me… I would think of his.
It was like he had imprinted a mark on me.
To think only of him.
And even if it was wrong…
I couldn't stop.
Even with everything bad happening around me, I would smile—not out of force—but because his beautiful face appeared in my mind.
Was this love?
I don't know.
I've fallen in love more than six times. Dated more than six people.
But I've never felt something so intense.
It was like, from the day I met him, my world rotated only around him.
It was scary.
And it was intriguing.
How my feelings could keep growing… like a balloon floating higher.
I kept walking, not even knowing where I was going.
A milky scent wafted around me… and I instantly knew who it was.
I closed my eyes, thinking it couldn't be possible.
But then…
That same calm voice echoed through my mind, sending a jolt through my body.
"We meet again," he said.