In the silent void of death, a sarcastic voice echoed.
"Well, that's it for me. I think I might officially be the most pathetic human alive—or dead, rather. Who the hell dies because they got scared of a street dog and ran straight into a damn truck?"
Kaito Asami's soul drifted in limbo, narrating his own idiocy with detached amusement.
"Should I be happy or sad? Happy because it was a proper truck-kun that hit me? Or sad because… well, I died a virgin."
He chuckled, the sound eerily echoing through the nothingness.
"You can call me a loser. It's not like I didn't have chances. I nearly got into a married woman's pants once. Keyword: nearly. Folks, it's all fun and games until you get caught. Learned that the hard way."
23 years old. Intern at a mid-tier law firm. LLM fresh off the press. A semi-functioning adult with career burnout and no future prospects.
"Honestly, I might've picked the wrong damn field. Law's a bloodbath for sharp people, and I was… let's just say, more butter knife than katana."
His voice faded as his consciousness began to dim.
"Anyway, how long does this monologue last—?"
And then… blackness.
⸻
How much time passed? Who knew. But eventually, awareness returned.
"Well, well, well… folks, looks like we meet again. Not that I have any idea where the hell I am."
Kaito opened his metaphorical eyes.
Nothing. Not black. Not white. Just nothingness—a void beyond comprehension.
"Wait—what the actual f—who's pulling me?!"
His formless self was suddenly yanked forward like a ragdoll until—BAM—he was dumped into a place so white it made hospital lights look dim. The contrast from total nothingness to eye-scorching purity was headache-inducing.
And then he saw it.
A massive roulette wheel. Floating in the center of the room like something out of a poorly budgeted isekai anime. On it, in bold comic sans, were the words:
"Reincarnation Roulette"
"…The hell is this? Is this what happens when you die now? No God? No bearded old man offering wishes? Just… a broken gacha wheel?"
Kaito blinked.
"What a lazy-ass setup. Whoever designed this must've been as unmotivated as me. No offense to myself, of course."
Out of sheer boredom, he shouted:
"Hey, dumb machine! Spin already! And for the love of Oda, don't throw me into some cursed sausage fest like Warhammer or Titan hell. Give me something livable, damn it!"
As if responding to his whining, the wheel whirred to life.
"Command received. Initiating spin."
"Oh great, now it talks too."
The wheel spun, displaying world names in a blur—Naruto, Bleach, My Hero, Mushoku, Overlord… even Cultivation Chat Group popped up. Then…
"Wait. Was that… Boku no Pico?! OH HELL NO!"
Panic flooded his disembodied soul.
"If I land in that one, I swear I'll off myself again before the opening scene plays."
Thankfully, the wheel didn't stop there. It kept spinning, slowing bit by bit, before clicking finally on:
One Piece
"Oh thank GOD. Well… aside from the celestial dragons, genocidal marines, sea monsters, and the constant threat of being blown up, it's pretty chill."
Kaito grinned.
"Okay, now comes the cheat menu, right? No way this setup skips that. I demand powers—give me something broken!"
On cue, glowing text appeared.
"You may draw 3 perks. Randomly."
"Bless you, devil who made this game. Sorry for badmouthing your lazy design. Come on, spin it! Let's go!"
As the perk wheel spun, Kaito started fantasizing.
"I want to be that smug young master type. Y'know, the one who smirks and says, 'You dare stand before this young lord? Get lost or I'll feed you to my blind, sword-wielding cat.'"
"…Okay, maybe I've read too many Chinese cultivation novels."
"No no, folks, I'm totally normal. That edgy personality was my alternate self—y'know, the one that reads 300 chaps a day on Webnovel. I'm a good boy. I just wanna give Robin and Hancock a warm home. Maybe Gion too. Yeah, Hina's kinda cute… okay fine, I'm scum."
The wheel clicked. And again. Then:
SHARINGAN
GATES OF BABYLON
LIGHT MAGIC
TEN SHADOWS TECHNIQUE
EXPLOSION IS ART
"Yo! These are badass! Sharingan? Gilgamesh loot hacks? Light freakin' magic? Come on, baby!"
And then… the wheel clicked.
"Explosion Is Art"
Dead silence.
"…What the hell?! Explosion is art?! Who even put Deidara's catchphrase as a standalone perk?!"
"No no no, I reject this reality. Out of all those cheat-tier powers, you give me… glorified fireworks?"
He stared at the void above him, betrayed by fate once again.
"Even in the afterlife… my luck is complete garbage."
⸻
To be continued…
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Well a new book, dont worry about me dropping, i have 30 plus chapters already written.
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