Zhuang Xianyang went to the study to do some research. At the door, he heard the lively, non-stop pinging of phone notifications. Without knocking, he casually pushed the door open and strode in, catching Zhuang Fanxin red-handed.
Zhuang Fanxin started in fright and quickly covered the phone on the desk with a book. "Hey Dad, looking for a book?" he asked, smiling.
"Stop pretending, I could hear everything from outside," said Zhuang Xianyang. He walked over to the desk and looked at the desk, not giving him an out. "You already got better, and you're still not focussed on your schoolwork."
After two days of IV drips, Zhuang Fanxin had already recovered and was in full spirits. "I'm working hard, I'm not slacking off," he argued. But his tone was lacking confidence; his voice grew smaller as he spoke, and on top of this he was so thin that when he shrank into the large leather chair, even his sense of presence was less apparent.
"The summer holidays are almost over, don't take it so easy," said Zhuang Xianyang.
Zhuang Fanxin nodded repeatedly. He splayed out on the table, pretending to do his homework until Zhuang Xianyang found his materials and left the study. Instantly, he pulled out his phone. In just a few minutes, his phone had filled with texts, at least 200 unread messages.
The moment the summer holidays began, Zhuang Fanxin had been shuttling back and forth between the art studio and extra classes, with no time to rest. He was basically absent from student chat groups, so if it hadn't been for everyone calling on him, he probably would have disappeared until term began again.
There were girls in the class chat group, plus the teacher. This one was only for the boys. After reading all two hundred texts, he sent: "Have you guys finished the homework?"
His deskmate, Qi Nan: "You gave me a scare, I thought the class teacher entered the chat."
Zhuang Fanxin: "I finished chem, do you want it?"
Qi Nan: "I finished chem too. How about maths?"
Zhuang Fanxin: "Doing it now."
Everyone was talking, one asking for chemistry homework, another for biology, looking like a secondhand exchange group. As usual, the class president made the executive decision: they would meet at Cafe No. 3 at the Creative Industry Zone in the afternoon and finish their homework together.
Zhuang Fanxin flipped through his maths homework. It was almost done, except for a few difficult problems he had circled and left blank. He thought about it: rather than join that noisy group of people and waste his time, he might as well look for a good teacher to help him solve the hard problems.
Hardening his heart, he sent a reply through the chorus of assent: "I've just recovered from my fever, so I'm not going."
"Really?" The class president didn't believe him. "Turn on your video, look into my eyes and say that again."
"Qi Nan knows," said Zhuang Fanxin.
Qi Nan's reply was swift: "Yeah, he got a heat stroke when he went live-sketching in Gulangyu."
With this mention of Gulangyu, Zhuang Fanxin managed to trick his way out of the situation. After this, he and Qi Nan conducted their own private trade: he would finish his maths homework and lend it to the other—they would meet at the corner of the street in the afternoon.
They chatted for a while longer before Zhuang Fanxin put down his cellphone and went over the questions again. He solved a few parts, but really had no idea how to deal with the others. Picking up his worksheets, he went to look for his free home tutor, a.k.a. Gu Zhuoyan. Since the day he received full marks and listened to Gu Zhuoyan's maths explanations, he'd gained a new respect for the boy.
He turned out of his gate and skipped straight down to the Xues' at the end of the street. When he entered their gate, the first person he saw was Gu Baoyan. She was holding a camera, immersed in her photography. Seeing him, she called out warmly, "Gege, I watered the plants every day, look!"
Zhuang Fanxin walked over. One of the plants was dying of over watering. He felt too embarrassed to tell her, so he asked instead, "Xiao mei, what's with the messy hairdo?"
Gu Baoyan's hair had been in bad shape since she came to Rongcheng, making her look like a rocker. Zhuang Fanxin looked up at the building and asked another question. "Is your brother home?"
"No," said Gu Baoyan. "Grandpa and gege weren't here when I woke up today."
Since Gu Zhuoyan wasn't home, Zhuang Fanxin played with Gu Baoyan for a while. He photographed Gu Baoyan, going to the street outside after they were done taking photos in the garden. When the German Shepherd stood majestically under a banyan tree, he quickly clicked the shutter.
Ms Hu came out from the building. "Don't get another heat stroke, come in and have some fruit."
The lychees were cold and sweet. Zhuang Fanxin popped one into his mouth. He looked at the clock and noticed that half an hour had passed. "Ms Hu, where did Grandpa Xue and Gu Zhuoyan go?" he asked.
"To the hospital, for a check-up," said Ms Hu.
Why would someone go to the hospital if they were fine? "Is Grandpa Xue not feeling well?" asked Zhuang Fanxin, concerned.
"No, it's Zhuoyan who's getting checked. He had to fast this morning; didn't even drink water."
Zhuang Fanxin sucked on the lychee pit in his mouth. Gu Zhuoyan went to the hospital for a check-up? Could he have fallen sick? That didn't seem right. He was fine a few days ago—he even managed to take care of him! Why did he suddenly have to go to the hospital?
If it was a minor illness, he could just go to the clinic. If he'd gone to the hospital, this was worrying.
Zhuang Fanxin lost his appetite. He also felt it inappropriate to ask for homework help again. Though he was sorry for inconveniencing Gu Zhuoyan a few days ago, there was nothing he could do about it. To express his apology, he brushed Gu Baoyan's hair.
Zhuang Fanxin carried his worksheets back home with him. When he had just come out of the building and stepped down from the porch, he heard the distant sound of an off-road vehicle's engine. He walked out the gate. A few metres away, Gu Zhuoyan got down from the car, a hamburger in hand.
Eating as he walked, Gu Zhuoyan spotted Zhuang Fanxin standing at his gate and almost thought he was at the wrong house. He drew near and swallowed his mouthful of food, then asked, "Looking for me?"
"Don't eat unhealthy stuff like that," said Zhuang Fanxin earnestly.
"You're one to talk, your bed's covered in crisps," replied Gu Zhuoyan. After filling his belly, his voice had grown languid, sounding a little mean. He lightened his tone and explained, "I hadn't eaten since morning, it's just filler."
Zhuang Fanxin took half a step forward, his gaze on Gu Zhuoyan's face. There were dark circles under his eyes and his jawline was sharply defined. Had he lost weight? He wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but right now, however he looked, Gu Zhuoyan seemed ill to him.
"Are you unwell?" he asked; then, afraid that they had yet to reach that stage in their relationship, he added thoughtfully, "If you'd rather not say, pretend I never asked."
"I'm fine," said Gu Zhuoyan, bewildered.
It was hot and humid outside. He didn't have the patience to stand at the gate much longer. Looking at the booklet of worksheets that Zhuang Fanxin was clutching to his chest, he could guess why Zhuang Fanxin was looking for him. He walked in. "Come on in. If we stand here much longer, you'll get another heat stroke."
Zhuang Fanxin stood in place. "Bye. Have a good rest."
Gu Zhuoyan stopped mid-turn and stared at Zhuang Fanxin, confused. He began to sense a tender sympathy in Zhuang Fanxin's gaze, the sort of look that Gu Baoyan had when she'd buried her dead pet chick.
"What's with you?" he asked, then, going with the flow, "or rather, what's with me?"
"Ms Hu said you went to the hospital to get checked up," said Zhuang Fanxin. "Are you… sick?"
Being sick and falling sick sounded different somehow. Getting a cold or a fever was falling sick, no big deal, but being sick sounded like he had a tumour. Gu Zhuoyan had an epiphany: this was why he was hemming and hawing. "It really was just a check-up," he said, exasperated, "I'm completely normal, perfectly healthy."
Seeing the other hesitate still, the heat and impatience went to his head, and he raised his voice. "It was a check-up for the school transfer."
Zhuang Fanxin's delayed reaction a few seconds later was a long sigh of relief. "Why didn't you say so earlier?" He ran over to Gu Zhuoyan and patted his shoulder easily. "Let's go do the homework."
The two walked in, shoulder to shoulder. As they climbed the stairs, Gu Zhuoyan looked down and saw that Zhuang Fanxin was wearing the shoes he had given him. He couldn't help but wonder: was Zhuang Fanxin so concerned about him because of this pair of shoes?
Gu Zhuoyan pitched the question directly. "What if I really was sick?"
"Then you have to get treated," came Zhuang Fanxin's instant reply.
"Well duh, you think I don't know that? I meant you," Gu Zhuoyan emphasized.
Zhuang Fanxin thought about it. "I'll go with you when you shave your head."
This was a tacit confirmation that he'd thought cancer, chemotherapy, and hair loss all in one. Gu Zhuoyan had no further questions. When he reached the second floor, he saw Gu Baoyan in the living room watching TV, his camera lying on the sofa.
Sunlight covered the living room. Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin went into the room and began to look over the homework. Laying the worksheets out, Zhuang Fanxin suddenly thought of something. "You said you were doing the check-up for a school transfer. Which school are you transferring to?"
"Tianji Secondary School," replied Gu Zhuoyan.
"Tianji Secondary School? I go to Tian High too!" Zhuang Fanxin hadn't expected such a coincidence, since Tian High was very difficult to get into, especially for an inter-province transfer. "Are you in the arts track, or science?"
"Science," said Gu Zhuoyan.
Zhuang Fanxin smiled. "So am I!"
Gu Zhuoyan replied with an aloof "hm". His eyes fell upon the heading on the worksheet: Summer Consolidation Worksheets for Upper Secondary, Year Two. So he would be starting upper second when school reopened, and was finishing up revision papers from last term. He himself had already finished the entire upper secondary syllabus in his previous school.
"What do you want me to explain?" he asked.
Zhuang Fanxin hadn't yet composed himself. "What class are you going to?" he asked, curious.
"Not sure yet," said Gu Zhuoyan, "I'll be taking the exam at school the day after tomorrow."
He probably meant the exam for admission and class streaming. Zhuang Fanxin looked at him understandingly. This really was fate. He couldn't help but say, "Let me know what class you get into, alright?"
Gu Zhuoyan assented and began to explain the worksheet. The problems weren't as difficult as the ones from the remedial classes; after a moment, Zhuang Fanxin managed to solve them himself. While he waited for Zhuang Fanxin, Gu Zhuoyan sipped his water, gazing down at Zhuang Fanxin's profile as he bent over the desk.
In the silence, he looked like a curly haired mannequin.
'Mannequin' didn't sound right. Maybe like the sort of doll his sister played with.
This descriptor made him feel sour. He looked away and sipped another few mouthfuls of water.
His throat moistened, his voice became clearer and gentler. Gu Zhuoyan turned back again, and asked, "Zhuang Fanxin, what class are you in?"
"Science Class Three," answered Zhuang Fanxin.
He didn't look up. "Our class teacher is a chemistry teacher. Everyone in our class is nice, it's just that we don't have much fighting spirit. Like our boys, for example: in other classes, the boys go out and play basketball together, or go swimming, whereas the boys in our class just go to cafés to drink and eat cake. Actually, they're going to a café to study this afternoon."
Gu Zhuoyan listened to his long rambling, then smiled and asked, "Why aren't you going?"
"I've come to study with you, haven't I?" Zhuang Fanxin replied primly.
This sounded a lot nicer than what he had said about going with Gu Zhuoyan to get his head shaved. Gu Zhuoyan continued to explain, this time in slightly more detail. Their timing was exact: Zhuang Fanxin hurried off after he finished, and met Qi Nan for their transaction at the corner of the street.
Gu Zhuoyan took the camera back to his room to charge. After a nap, he woke up to find that the sky had darkened.
He leaned against the headboard and flipped through his camera. The first few were blurry and overexposed; he didn't need to guess to know they were Gu Baoyan's. When Gu Baoyan appeared in the photos, he assumed it was Zhuang Fanxin behind the camera.
He went through each photo, finally stopping at one of the German Shepherd under the shade of a banyan tree, dappled with spots of light through the leaves. Gu Zhuoyan transferred this to his phone and set it as his wallpaper. He also set an alarm: he had to go to Tian High at 8.30 a.m. for the exam the day after tomorrow.
Gu Zhuoyan opened his contact list and pressed on "Dad".
This was the first phone call he had made since arriving in Rongcheng, here in his pitch black, unlit room. After four or five rings, Gu Shibo picked up, calm but wary, as if he hadn't expected Gu Zhuoyan to call him.
A few seconds passed. Then came Gu Shibo's voice. "Zhuoyan, how are things at your grandfather's?"
Gu Zhuoyan gave a non-answer: "I had my medical check-up for the school transfer today."
"I've already told them about the transfer," said Gu Shibo. "As long as you don't get into any more trouble, I can make whatever arrangements you want."
The room was quiet, and every word was crystal clear. For instance, the word "trouble".
Gu Zhuoyan felt anger surging in his chest. He had held it back for the past few days, but right now he really wanted to let it out. Coming to Rongcheng was not his choice. It was the consequence of his coming out, which sent shockwaves through the school and blew up into a huge fight with Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi, who then sent him to Rongcheng.
Gu Shibo's warning not to get into trouble, translated into plain language, meant: Don't get into a same-sex relationship.
But it was too late. Gu Zhuoyan resented every moment of having to transfer schools and leave home. He wanted to jump straight into a relationship, just to piss Gu Shibo off! Then he met Zhuang Fanxin—they became neighbours, coming across each other again and again.
They'd only known each other for ten days, and Gu Zhuoyan had already taught Zhuang Fanxin to play the guitar, sat with him through his IV drips, played mobile games with him, tutored him, et cetera et cetera… He wasn't a particularly friendly person himself, and yet he found himself actively drawn to Zhuang Fanxin, subconsciously hoping that their relationship would develop into something more intimate to give him his revenge on Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi.
To put it simply, because they didn't want him to get into a same-sex relationship, he was eager to start one.
It just so happened that he met Zhuang Fanxin. Zhuang Fanxin was good-looking and had a pleasant personality, on top of being artistically talented and studious. He was the complete package. All of this was very attractive to a young, romantically inexperienced gay teen like himself…
Gu Zhuoyan took a deep breath. "Really?" he asked.
"Really," said Gu Shibo. "As long as you behave yourself, I'll take care of everything."
"Then put me in the third science class," said Gu Zhuoyan.
—
The author has something to say:
I made up all the school bits.
—
1. Qi Nan pronounced "chee-naan".
2. Tianji pronounced "tee-en-tzee", meaning horizon.
3. Upper Secondary, Year Two the penultimate year of secondary school, or the 11th grade, i.e. the 11th year of formal education.
4. His mother. "Manzi" is pronounced a bit like "mun-tze". I really don't know how to explain this in English—"tz" like the second z in pizza, I suppose.