No response.
Yifeng stared at the glowing screen hovering in front of him, waiting for the system to say something—anything. But it remained stubbornly silent, floating there like a smug piece of junk code.
Great. Just great.
"This thing really doesn't talk, huh?" he muttered, shoveling a piece of grilled meat into his mouth.
His mistake.
"Gack!" he gagged, nearly choking as a blast of searing mustard invaded his sinuses. Eyes watering, nose running, he glanced up to see Shikamaru sitting across the table with an all-too-innocent expression.
"You think that's funny?" Yifeng rasped.
Shikamaru shrugged. "Didn't say it wasn't."
Yifeng glared, swiping at his face. "Dumb kid."
"I'm a month older than you."
Ignoring him, Yifeng turned back to the system screen with a tired sigh.
So this was his so-called golden finger, his big cheat? A "love life option system"? In the Naruto universe? He was supposed to romance kunoichi during a time when people died on missions every week? What was next—writing a haiku in the middle of a war zone?
Suddenly, a chime echoed in his head, and new text blinked across the screen:
[Make a choice.]
Yifeng blinked.
"...Huh?"
[1. Use Impure World Reincarnation to summon Uzumaki Kushina and confess your love.]
[2. Write a heartfelt love letter to Chiyo from the Hidden Sand and mail it.]
[3. Climb Hokage Rock and publicly confess your undying love to Might Guy.]
"...What the hell?"
Yifeng stared, slack-jawed. His brain went completely blank.
Kushina Uzumaki? She's been dead for over a decade!Chiyo? The hundred-year-old war hawk from Suna?!And Might Guy? MIGHT. GUY?!
"No. Nope. Absolutely not." He shook his head violently. "This system's glitched. It's broken. This is a scam!"
He downed a glass of water and glared at the screen.
Kushina and Chiyo were at least women, even if one was a dead mom and the other a war grandma. But Might Guy? The spandex-wearing, eyebrow-flaring, 'Power of Youth' lunatic?! You want me to scream my love for him from the Hokage Rock?!
That's not a love confession—that's a suicide note!
Yifeng crossed his arms.
"Nope. Not doing it. Screw this."
He dismissed the screen with a swipe and shoved another skewer in his mouth. Time to forget about this insane system and pretend it never existed.
But the screen blinked again, this time in red.
[You have fifteen seconds to make your selection.]
"Oh, now you want to talk, huh?"
Yifeng narrowed his eyes. "Or what? You gonna delete me?"
He leaned back, entirely unfazed.
Go ahead. See if I care.
What was life in this messed-up world anyway? He'd seen war orphans, senseless death, and corrupt politics before he was even potty-trained. If this world wanted to kill him, it could get in line.
But the next warning made his blood run cold:
[You have 5 seconds left to choose, or one of your closest friends will be randomly selected—and their mother will be killed.]
Yifeng choked violently.
The half-chewed skewer in his mouth sprayed across the table—right into Shikamaru's face.
"What the hell, man?!" Shikamaru shouted, wiping meat off his forehead.
Yifeng didn't answer. His eyes were locked on the screen, wide with horror.
You've got to be kidding me.
"Wait, wait, WAIT!" he shouted mentally. "You're blackmailing me?! Not even threatening me, but my friends' mothers?!"
[Four seconds… Three… Two…]
"No, no—fine! FINE!" he screamed inside his head. "I'll pick one! Just stop!"
[Selection confirmed.]
The red warning disappeared.
Yifeng slumped back in his seat, sweating. That… was way too close.
"What's wrong with you?" Shikamaru asked, still annoyed as he wiped barbecue from his sleeve.
Yifeng stood up and clapped him on the shoulder.
"Brother… you have no idea how lucky you are to have me."
"…What?"
"I just saved your mom. You can cover the check."
"Go to hell!"
They walked out of the barbecue shop bickering as usual, but inside, Yifeng was still reeling.
He glanced up at the blood-red sky of dusk and let out a long sigh.
"Tch. What sin did I commit to deserve this cursed system?"
He had actually been excited when the system first appeared. Thought his transmigrator luck was finally kicking in.
But this? This wasn't a cheat—this was a cursed seal from hell. Threatening to blow up his best friend's mom just to force him into a love confession? Satan probably had this system's logo tattooed across his back.
And worst of all, he had actually picked an option… the least insane one.
The first.
[Impure World Reincarnation: Summon your love interest—Uzumaki Kushina.]
"No way this will actually work," Yifeng muttered, shaking his head. "No way."
But the system had other ideas.
[You have been granted knowledge of the Impure World Reincarnation technique. You must complete the summoning within five minutes.]
"What?"
Yifeng staggered mid-step as information surged into his brain. He could suddenly feel the jutsu—the exact hand signs, the required ritual, the formulaic blood print…
And it was modified. This version didn't even need a corpse. Just a piece of the target's remains.
A hair. A scrap of clothing. A toothbrush.
It was more like summoning a Heroic Spirit than a resurrection.
"This is not normal," he hissed. "What kind of fanfic Frankenstein jutsu is this?!"
Then it hit him.
Kushina was dead.
And the only person in the village who might have her remains…
"Don't tell me… Naruto?!"
Yifeng's face went pale.
The system wanted him to use Naruto's mom as a love interest… by summoning her… using Naruto's house as the summoning ground?!
"This system is going to get me killed!"
[Please summon your target within the time limit.]
The red warning light pulsed again.
"Damn it!" Yifeng growled. "You better pray I never figure out how to uninstall you."
He bolted down the street toward Naruto's apartment.
Naruto was just outside his front door, holding a juice box and looking confused.
"Huh? Yifeng? You looking for me?"
"Yeah!" Yifeng said between pants. "I, uh, need to use your bathroom."
"…You ran all the way here for that?"
"We're best friends, right?"
"Yeah!"
Naruto beamed. Yifeng always looked out for him. One of the only people who ever had.
"Then... yeah. Toilet."
"Sure, come in."
Naruto scratched his head but opened the door. Yifeng darted past him into the bathroom.
"Can you wait outside for a sec?" Yifeng called. "Like, right outside the door?"
Naruto frowned. "You want me to stand guard… while you poop?"
"Brotherhood!"
"…Okay?"
Naruto sighed, leaning against the wall.
Inside, Yifeng was already setting up the jutsu.
"You owe me big time, kid," he muttered, biting his thumb.
The red warning blinked again.
[One minute remaining.]
"I got it, I got it!"
He slammed his hands into the floor.
"Reanimation Jutsu—Kushina Version!"
A flash of chakra lit up the bathroom—and Yifeng's nightmare truly began.