"Hmm… and who might this be?"
"A classmate. Came to consult me about something."
"I see."
Takamine Rinji and Shirogane Miyuki sat side by side on the couch, across from a slightly awkward second-year boy.
"So… what exactly are you here for?"
"Love advice," Miyuki replied.
"Got it. My weak point. This one's all yours, Prez—"
"Wait! Don't run!"
Rinji had just started to stand when Miyuki yanked him back down.
The boy hesitated for a moment before speaking. "The thing is… I heard the president has tons of experience in love, so I came to ask for help."
"I see."
Rinji nodded, then whispered to the sweat-drenched Miyuki beside him, "Didn't think you had such a hidden skill, Prez."
"Not at all," Miyuki hissed back. "I have zero romantic experience."
"Then just tell him."
"And what if he spreads it around? If the class finds out that the president of Shuchiin's student council is a virgin, my image is toast!"
For some reason, being a virgin was looked down upon in Japanese high schools.
"I get you, Prez."
"As long as you understand…"
Before Miyuki could finish, Rinji slammed his foot on the coffee table and yanked the boy up by the collar.
"You punk, you got something against virgins!? Want me to beat you into tears right now!?"
"Whaaa!?"
"Calm down, Rinji!"
Miyuki rushed forward to restrain him, pulling him back just in time.
The boy gasped, his shirt collar slackening as he collapsed back onto the couch, breathing heavily.
"Ahem, my bad. I lost my temper there. Hope you don't mind."
"N-no, not at all…"
"What's your name, by the way?"
"My surname's Tanuma. Tanuma Tsubasa."
"Nice to meet you, Tanuma. My name is—"
"I know who you are," Tsubasa said. "Takamine Rinji, the first-year exchange student. You're actually kind of popular among the girls in our year."
"Oh? Really?"
Rinji felt rather pleased. He'd assumed his status as a transfer student with a suspension record would make him unpopular.
"Of course it's true. I mean, you're part of the student council and you've got a ridiculously cute—"
Before he could finish, Rinji hoisted him up again by the collar.
"Say that again, you little punk!? You got a problem with my rugged, manly face!? Want me to beat you into tears again!?"
"Waaa!?"
"Calm down, Rinji!"
Miyuki was quick to react and dragged him back again.
"Prez… uh…"
"Don't worry. Ask me anything." Miyuki placed a reassuring hand on Rinji's shoulder. "When it comes to love consultations, you can count on me. I've never been dumped."
That was technically true.
After all, how can you be dumped… if you've never dated anyone?
Well—Rinji had been dumped. He was one of those who got rejected before he even confessed.
"As expected of the president!" Tanuma Tsubasa exclaimed in admiration.
To them, Shirogane Miyuki was practically an all-powerful figure.
"So… what exactly do you want advice on?"
"Well… there's this classmate in our class named Kashiwagi Nagisa… I want to confess to her!"
Shirogane: "…"
Takamine Rinji: "…That bold? You're young and clearly haven't suffered yet."
Tanuma hesitated for a moment, then mumbled, "But… I'm afraid of being rejected. Wouldn't it be better to get to know her better first before confessing?"
"Listen to me—don't confess."
Takamine stood up, walked behind Tanuma, and patted him on the shoulder.
"You'll absolutely get rejected."
"Huh?"
"You think spending time together will help, but that's just an illusion. In the end, she'll only see you as a good friend. And once you confess, you won't even be friends anymore."
"How could that happen…"
Tanuma held his head in despair, visibly distressed.
"You were right to come to the student council before confessing. We specialize in pulling naïve youngsters like you out of their misery. Why bring unnecessary pain on yourself…"
"That's enough! Rinji, sit down already."
Shirogane quickly stepped in before Tanuma's spirit could be completely crushed.
"So, uh… do you and this girl have any sort of connection?"
"Connection…" Tanuma thought for a moment, then clapped his hands. "She gave me chocolate on Valentine's Day!"
Shirogane: "Oh!!"
Takamine: "Could've just been obligatory."
"Right… Then… what should I do?" Tanuma fell into confusion again. "I can't tell if she actually likes me or not. If I confess without being sure—"
"In that case…" Shirogane thought for a moment. "How about writing her a love letter? That way, even if you get rejected, it won't be face-to-face."
"Great idea! But… my writing skills are really bad."
"I can handle that."
At that moment, Takamine Rinji raised his hand confidently.
"Eh? Rinji, you can write love letters?"
"My mom used to work at the post office ghostwriting letters. I've got experience."
"Really? That's amazing!" Tanuma's face lit up.
Takamine grabbed some paper and a pen from the student council desk and began writing.
His handwriting was neat and practiced.
"Done."
"Let me see."
Shirogane and Tanuma both leaned in to read.
---
"I like you. Let me do H things to you. —Tanuma Tsubasa"
---
"This is totally not okay!!! Is that what a love letter is supposed to be like!?"
"Simple and clear, with a direct message. I even stated my final objective." Rinji clearly hadn't realized his mistake.
"And another thing—wouldn't signing your name directly be a bit… too much?" Tanuma said hesitantly.
"If you don't sign it, how will she know it's from you?"
"I mean… it's kinda embarrassing."
"…Okay, I get you. To avoid her recognizing the handwriting and tracing it back to the student council, I'll just avoid writing altogether."
"Isn't that a little extreme…?"
Without waiting for a response, Rinji grabbed scissors from the desk and began cutting with a loud snip snip.
"Done."
Satisfied, he handed the finished product to the two of them.
---
[I've been watching you for a long time. Let's be together.]
---
"…"
"This should be fine, right?"
Tanuma: "The wording is normal enough, but…"
Shirogane: "Why did you cut the letters out of a newspaper!? It looks exactly like a ransom note!!"