[THEODORE'S POV]
"He doesn't want me! He doesn't like me! He hates me! Why does almost everyone hate me? Did I make myself this way? Selene I didn't ask to be made an omega, to be made gay. I did not ask you for a mate. I never even wanted one. Why punish me this way."
Tears kept pouring out in their large amounts, swimming down my face as I kept speaking internally.
I wanted nothing else. Nothing else but normalcy. I wanted to live like every other person, to not be seen as different, as a curse, as a defect.
Uncle Alaric… Even when I tried not to get attracted when I first saw him at the door, telling myself that it won't work, that he was my uncle. The feeling kept increasing, flooding my chest like a turbulent ocean.
I remembered his wolf... It spoke through him. It told me his name. One that I took an instant liking to. I love his name. I love his wolf. I love everything about uncle Alaric.
But sadly, he doesn't love me. He hates me. With every fucking fiber in him.
"It hurts. It hurts.." I muttered, clutching my shirt and trembling as pain smashed against me.
Back then when his wolf talked through him, I felt something, the undeniable connection with him. The spark. We were fated. Soul bound. But uncle Alaric... I saw the burning anger in his red eyes, heard the maliciousness in his tone. He doesn't want me! H-h-he j-ju-just-
My thoughts broke off as the pain increased.
Our human sides exercise much control over our wolf side. If he doesn't, his wolf would be left with no choice to accept.
His words came alive in my head again and what was left of me, splintered to tiny fragments.
"I can never have anything to do with you! I don't swing that way. And I will never because of you!"
As I remembered it, my anguish grew. So much for being fucking hopeful.
I'm such a big fool! A fucking idiot!!
"Tell him to go away! Tell him to go away too like you told your mom!" The angry, small voice in my head told me as he knocked on my door.
"I should. I really should! He does not like me! Nothing good would come out if I allowed him entrance into my room!" I reminded myself.
Nothing good will come out from it. He's never going to like me. Expecting him to, will profit me nothing. I need to tighten up my heart. I need to stay away from him! I need to push him away and lash at him.
Maybe a little coldness towards him is what I need to do to permanently bury these sudden feelings I have for him. Because I know these feelings can't be eradicated! It is engraved in my soul. It is impossible to kill it. Bury. That is all that be done.
But I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to say the words to him. I couldn't tell him to go away.
The pull I felt when I first saw him outside our door, I still feel it now. And it has attained a higher magnetic force.
Without thinking, I rose from the ground and slowly walked to the door. When I opened it, I expected a reprimand like dad or most homophobic men would do.
But he closed the door after him and grabbed my hands, drawing me into his embrace.
"It's okay. It's okay." He muttered, his deep voice thick with emotions I couldn't fathom or explain.
I fluttered my wet lashes in shock.
He did not berate me! He did not shout at me!
As he started pacifying me again, the tears came afresh. Not knowing what I was doing, I wrapped my hands around his waist and started crying.
All the pain that I had solely bore, I opened them and allow them flush out through my eyes.
"I-i-i-" My chest swelled and my incomplete sentence broke as I hiccupped loudly.
"Sssshhh!!" He silenced me gently and held my head, allowing me to lay bare all the pains that had clogged my heart.
"It's okay. Let it out! Let it all out!!" He whispered.
I held him tight, letting his warmth envelope me. It was just until now that I realized he had a very broad chest and big muscles. One that made me feel safe and home.
It is strange. Feeling this high comfort and peace from just hugging him really scared me. What had changed?
As my heart beat slowly against his, blood suddenly rushed to a lower part of my body. The moment I felt it rise, I pulled away from him hurriedly, taking few steps away from him as embarrassment clothed me.
"Uhmm…" I stammered, gazing at everywhere but his face.
I dare not try to cover it. It will only implicate me if I did. I just stood there, in front of him, diverting my attention to everything in my room but him.
I'm sure he felt my erection. I'm sure it touched him.
Shit!!! I feel so stupid!
He began to advance towards me. And the moment he did, my breath hitched with panic. He's probably angry with me. He was just here to comfort me, but I messed it up with my stupid imagination.
What was the word for it again?
Yeah, unnatural affections. That was what them homophobic folks termed it.
Now he is going to punish me! He is going to beat me for it!
Shit!!
When he neared me and grabbed my arm, terror crashed on me. And out of reflex, I raised my hand, blocking my face from the incoming blow or slap.
"Please!!" I shouted. "Please forgive me! Forgive me!" I cried out.
But he was not listening. He was mad with anger. He grabbed my second hand and my fears skyrocketed.
"Please, uncle Alaric. I don't know what came over me! Please forgive me!" I kept shouting my words of apology, still shielding my face with panic.
I waited for minutes, expecting the blow to come. But I felt nothing.
And to my shock, he freed one of my hands and gently held my jaw. As he lifted my face, raising it to meet his gaze, my body trembled greatly.
When I stared into his brown orbs, I saw nothing. It was just a brown well, deep like an unending abyss.
Instantly, my voice faltered. "Ple-ease f-fo-for-give m-me." I begged.
His finger moved from my jaw, trailing my skin and lighting everywhere it passed. This unexpected action of his caused my mind to go blank immediately.
I couldn't think of anything at the moment. I just stood there, shuddering as he continued with what he was doing.
"What is he doing?" I thought frightfully.
"Why you?" He drawled, still moving his finger on my face.
The blood in my legs had suddenly congealed. It was just rooted to the ground. I couldn't move or shift away from him.
"B-b-but, m-my, I-i-i-" I started stammering, uttering rubbish.
He placed his finger on my lips, shutting me up. As he did, my prick screamed for joy, delighting in the sparks that ran through my body.
I could hear my blood roaring in my ears right now. This rush of excitement and fear, it was causing my heart to pound.
He said nothing and was just staring at me intently. Then it hit me. His eyes… They were gleaming. Of course they were. But… That was not anger or hate. It was something different. Something…
"What are you?" He asked, his voice suddenly turning thick.
He was talking about my sexuality! He was asking if I'm...
Shit!!
I chewed my lips. He is going to know if I lie. I should just tell him. I should just come out to him. What's the worst that can happen?
With a trembling voice, I stuttered out a response. "I-i-I'm g-gay."
The moment I uttered it, he palmed my back head and smashed his lips on mine, giving me a ferocious kiss that sent a sweet electric current inside me.
"I wasn't talking about that!" He growled softly and continued kissing me.
Stunned by the unexpected act, my heart stopped beating for seconds. My eyes bulged in shock and my lashes fluttered in disbelief.
Did he just... He did! I just told him that I'm gay and he still kissed me! It is real! Uncle Alaric kissed me! I'm not dreaming! Fuck!!
My desires burst out of me and I wrapped my arms around his back. Instantly, I brought my lashes down. Yes. This crackling passion was not something my eyes could behold! It was too strong!
As his tongue swirled inside my mouth viciously, I stood on my toes and opened my mouth wide, giving him full entrance.
His dominance, his fierce possession... It melted me.
He was wild!
And I realized to my shock that I loved it. His ferocity… it exhilarated me!
This is really happening! I can't believe that this is really happening!!
But just when I started to moan, his lips abruptly slid away from mine. I opened my eyes, staring into his.
I saw it. Fear! Great existential fear! It was dancing in his eyes!
"Un-c-cle, i-I'm-" I tried to apologize.
But he took a step backward. "Don't come close!" He shouted. Then he turned and bolted out of my room.
I stood, my feet rooted to the ground, closing my eyes fearfully as the door jammed close after he raced out.
Reality hit me hard and I gasped. I was wrong. He did not like me. His action said it all. He is feeling repulsed because of me. Kissing him was a big mistake.
Tears filled my eyes and I shuddered as they fall.
My first kiss... It was my first kiss.
"Where did I go wrong?"