Days passed in a blink, each one bleeding into the next like watercolors on cheap paper. I woke to sunlight filtering through my curtains, groaning as I rolled out of bed. Today was the day of Takada-sensei's infamous survival test—the one he'd been threatening us with for weeks. Part of me considered the merits of simply staying in bed, but the other part knew that would invite a lecture I didn't care to endure. After a quick breakfast and even quicker hygiene routine, I made my way to the Academy.
"Today's exercise will test your tactical thinking, teamwork, and field awareness," he announced, standing atop a tree stump like it was the Hokage's platform. The rising sun cast long shadows through the trees, painting everything in hues of gold and amber that would've been beautiful if I weren't so busy suppressing a yawn.
'This would be so much more tolerable with sake,' I thought, absently adjusting my sandals while Takada-sensei droned on about the "valuable shinobi skills" we'd develop. The forest around us buzzed with birds chirping, leaves rustling, and the occasional distant roar that definitely wasn't part of the natural forest soundtrack.
Minato caught my eye from across the clearing and raised an eyebrow. I responded with my lazy half-smile.
"For this exercise," Takada-sensei continued, unrolling a scroll with unnecessary flourish, "you'll be divided into five teams of five. Each team will be assigned a territory with a core flag that must be protected at all costs. Losing your core flag means immediate disqualification."
The students around me perked up at this—nothing gets tiny shinobi-in-training more excited than institutionalized theft disguised as education. I stretched my arms above my head, joints popping satisfyingly. If I had to be awake at this ungodly hour, at least I could enjoy watching my classmates fumble through the forest.
"In addition to your core flag, there are 25 secondary flags scattered throughout the forest," Takada-sensei explained, tapping the scroll which revealed itself to be a detailed map of the training area. "Each team must capture at least three of these secondary flags while protecting their core flag. You have from sunrise—" he gestured at the orange sky, "—until midday to complete this task."
A boy toward the front raised his hand. "Sensei, can we move or hide our core flag to a better position?"
Sensei shook his head. "Core flags are fixed in place with a special seal and cannot be moved from their positions. Secondary flags, however, can be grabbed and carried with you."
A girl toward the front—Tsume Inuzuka, if the tiny ninken puppy poking out of her jacket was any indication—raised her hand. "Sensei, are there any restrictions on techniques?"
"Excellent question," Sensei nodded approvingly. "No lethal techniques allowed. This is practice, not warfare. Anyone using excessive force will be immediately disqualified and assigned extra laps around the Academy for a month."
Sensei produced a stack of small maps from his vest pocket. "Each team will receive one of these. They contain the general location of your territory and hints about the others. Use them wisely."
He cleared his throat and unrolled another scroll. "Now for the team assignments."
The collective intake of breath was almost comical. Academy students treat team assignments like life-or-death prophecies rather than the arbitrary groupings they actually are. I, on the other hand, pretended not to care, though I silently hoped I wouldn't get stuck with any of the overly earnest types who'd try to make me "take things seriously."
"Team One: Minato Namikaze, Mikoto Uchiha, Choza Akimichi, Tsume Inuzuka, and Kana Yamanaka."
"Team Two: Shikaku Nara, Hiashi Hyuga, Shibi Aburame, Kenji Tanaka, and Daichi Shimura."
Another power team. I was beginning to suspect Takada-sensei had some hidden agenda with these groupings.
"Team Three: Shinji, Kushina Uzumaki, Inoichi Yamanaka—" I perked up slightly at hearing Kushina's name, "—Takeo, and Takeshi Uchiha."
'Ah, Grumpy-chan has a name,' I mused, glancing over at the scowling Uchiha boy who seemed to be contemplating whether this team assignment was some form of cosmic punishment.
Kushina spotted us and made her way over, red hair swinging behind her. "Looks like we're teammates, ya know!"
"Fate has spoken," I replied with an easy smile, genuinely pleased with the arrangement. Kushina's energy complemented my approach—she bulldozed through obstacles while I slipped around them. We'd make a good team.
Inoichi joined us with a relaxed smile. "Hey, not a bad team," he said, looking between us with genuine optimism.
Takeo, a civilian-born student with more determination than natural talent, joined our little gathering with visible nervousness. I'd seen him get thoroughly trounced by Kushina in a taijutsu evaluation last week. The poor kid still flinched whenever she moved too suddenly.
Grumpy-chan approached last, maintaining a careful distance with that characteristic Uchiha frown.
"Great, the gang's all here," I said, stretching lazily. "I vote we find a nice shady spot, take a nap, and let the other teams exhaust themselves fighting over flags."
"Is that your strategy for everything?" Grumpy-chan snorted.
"Only the things worth doing," I replied with a grin and opened the map Sensei was handing out to each team. "Let's see what we're working with…"
While Takada-sensei finished reading out the remaining teams, our little group huddled around the map. It showed a roughly circular training ground divided into 25 territories, each marked with a flag symbol. Various cryptic symbols dotted the landscape—probably the "hints" Takada-sensei had mentioned.
"Our territory is here," Inoichi pointed to the northeastern section, "and it looks like we're bordered by Team One to the west and Team Four to the south."
"Minato's team is going to be trouble," I mused. "They've got Tsume's tracking abilities and Choza's raw power."
"We've got Kushina," Takeo said. "She's worth any two of them."
Kushina beamed at the compliment, her hair seeming to lift slightly with her pride. "Damn right, ya know!"
"And we've got an Uchiha," I added, nodding toward Grumpy-chan, who looked mildly surprised at my acknowledgment. "Between your eyes and my... everything else, we should be fine."
He scoffed, but I didn't miss the slight straightening of his shoulders.
"The real question," I said, tapping a finger on the map, "is whether we should even bother with our core flag at all."
That earned me four pairs of eyes staring in confusion.
"What do you mean?" asked Takeo. "We get disqualified if we lose it."
"True," I replied, "but we only lose if someone else destroys it. What if everyone's too busy defending their own flags to come after ours?"
Kushina's eyes lit up with understanding. "You're saying we should all go offensive! Just grab three secondary flags and destroy their core flags super fast and win before anyone can take our core!"
"It's risky," Inoichi said thoughtfully. "The standard approach would be to leave at least two people to defend."
Grumpy-chan frowned. "If we split up, we're more vulnerable. But if we all go..."
"We hit hard and fast," I finished. "Look at these secondary flag locations—there are three within reasonable distance from our starting point. We could have them all before most teams even finish setting up their defenses."
Sensei clapped his hands for attention. "One last thing before you begin. I've taken the liberty of... enhancing the training ground with a few surprises."
The collective groan from the students made me chuckle.
"Some areas contain traps I've personally set," Sensei continued, looking far too pleased with himself. "Others might have wildlife that's been—let's say—encouraged to be territorial. Oh, and a word of warning: not all flags are what they appear to be."
"Decoys," Inoichi murmured beside me.
"Also," Sensei added with a grin that bordered on sadistic, "I'll be observing your performances throughout. Consider this a practical exam as well as training."
'Of course he would,' I thought. 'Nothing like the threat of academic consequences to make kids fight each other more aggressively.'
"Your time starts... now!" Sensei announced, and immediately disappeared in a swirl of leaves—a completely unnecessary shunshin that I was convinced Jonin only used to impress Academy students.
"So, all offense?" Kushina asked eagerly, practically bouncing on her toes.
"Not quite," I replied, refolding the map. "We need to at least check our core territory first, see what we're working with. Then we can decide if it's worth fortifying or if we're better off hunting."
"That's... surprisingly sensible," Grumpy-chan remarked with mild surprise.
I clutched my chest. "I'm wounded by your lack of faith in my strategic abilities, Grumpy-chan."
As he sputtered at the nickname, I started walking toward our assigned territory. "Come on, we're wasting daylight. Those flags aren't going to steal themselves."
We set off toward our assigned territory, five very different shinobi-in-training moving beneath the forest canopy.
"What if we set traps around our core flag and then all go hunting?" Inoichi asked as we navigated around a suspicious-looking patch of disturbed earth. "Since we can't take the flag with us, we might as well make it difficult for others to reach."
"That's actually not a bad idea," I replied. "Quick defense setup, then full offense. Could work."
"You're assuming everyone else will play defensively," Grumpy-chan pointed out.
I grinned. "Exactly. Most people follow the obvious strategy. We gain an edge by doing the unexpected."
"I like unexpected," Kushina declared with a fist pump.
Takeo looked less convinced but nodded anyway.
…
Five minutes into our trek toward our assigned territory, and Kushina was already plotting world domination. Or at least forest domination, which in the context of our current situation, was basically the same thing.
"I can't wait to see their faces when we ambush them right after setting our traps!" she exclaimed, punching her palm. "No one expects the aggressive defense strategy, ya know!"
I ducked under a low-hanging branch that seemed specifically designed to decapitate unwary shinobi-in-training. "Just remember that the 'stealth' part of 'stealth attack' typically involves not broadcasting our plans to the entire forest population."
Takeo snickered, then quickly covered it with a cough when Kushina shot him a glare that could've set his hair on fire without the need for jutsu.
"Shinji's not wrong," Inoichi pointed out. "But our plan is solid. Set our traps quickly, then immediately go hunting while everyone else is still getting organized."
Grumpy-chan, who had been silent as only an Uchiha could be, finally spoke. "The faster we secure our position, the sooner we can move on the offensive."
"Actually," I said, stepping over a suspiciously disturbed patch of soil that screamed 'trap' to anyone with functioning eyeballs, "I have a better idea. What if we—"
The kunai that embedded itself in the tree trunk precisely three centimeters from my ear put a rather rude end to what would have undoubtedly been a brilliant suggestion.
"Ambush!" Takeo yelped, dropping into a defensive stance.
I sighed deeply. We'd been in the forest for all of seven minutes. SEVEN. Either this was a new academy record for fastest ambush, or Shikaku's team had decided that playing by normal rules was for suckers. Given that Shikaku was involved, I was betting on the latter.
"So much for strategic planning," I muttered, lazily shifting my weight to my back foot as I assessed our surroundings. "Looks like philosophy hour is over, kids."
Five shadows detached themselves from the dappled forest canopy, dropping to encircle our little group with coordination that screamed "we actually planned this ahead of time unlike you chaotic disasters."
Standing at the forefront was none other than Shikaku Nara, hands already forming the first seal of his clan's signature jutsu. Flanking him were Hiashi Hyuga, his Byakugan already activated, Shibi Aburame, who stood so still he might as well have been a particularly fashionable tree, and the two other members of their team whose names escaped me because, frankly, they had yet to do anything interesting enough to earn real estate in my memory.
"Well, well," Shikaku said with that infuriating Nara confidence, "caught you early."
"Five against five in broad daylight," I observed with admiration. "How very... efficient of you, Shikaku. I expected we'd at least get to our territory before the fun began."
Shikaku smiled. "Why waste time when the objective is clear? Better to eliminate competition early."
"Because wasting time beats efficiency any day?" I suggested, even as I subtly shifted my stance, feeling Kushina tensing beside me like a spring ready to explode. Inoichi had already moved closer to Takeo, our weakest close-combat fighter, while Grumpy-chan was doing that thing Uchihas do where they try to stare you to death before actually fighting you.
I watched as Shikaku's shadow slithered across the forest floor like an overambitious ink spill, and nimbly sidestepped the shadow. Kushina chose that exact moment to launch herself at Hiashi with all the subtlety of an explosion tag in a library.
"GET THEM!" she shouted, as if the flying tackle hadn't already communicated her intentions clearly enough.
And just like that, our nice orderly discussion devolved into the kind of chaos that makes sensible ninja invest in good health insurance.
Hiashi, to his credit, managed to sidestep Kushina's initial charge with the grace his clan was known for. Unfortunately for him, "grace" wasn't much defense against "unhinged violence," and Kushina's second attack—a wild roundhouse kick—connected solidly with his shoulder.
I barely had time to appreciate her form before I had to deal with my own problems, namely the writhing mass of kikaichu insects now swarming toward me courtesy of Shibi. Nothing says "good morning" quite like the threat of having your face bitten by bugs.
"Really, Shibi? Insects before breakfast? That's just poor etiquette," I complained, lazily forming a single hand seal as if I couldn't be bothered with the full sequence. But instead of a complex jutsu, I flicked my wrist, sending three kunai in a spinning arc. Each blade trailed a nearly invisible wire coated with a flammable oil that I'd bought from the market last week.
As the kunai sliced through the swarm's formation in a triangular pattern, I struck the metal striker on my wrist guard against my own kunai handle, which I'd kept ready in my left hand.
The spark caught the oil-coated wires instantly. Fire raced along the lines, creating a burning triangle that cut through the kikaichu swarm like a hot knife through butter. The insects nearest to the flames dropped instantly, their tiny bodies unable to withstand the heat, while the rest of the formation broke apart in disarray.
"Sorry, not sorry," I called out as the charred insects fell to the ground. "Should've sent a clone instead of your little friends."
Shibi's expression tightened ever so slightly above his dark glasses—about as close to outrage as an Aburame ever displayed in public.
"Effective," Shibi commented in his characteristic monotone, though I caught the unmistakable edge in his voice. "Ruthless, but effective."
"I find most problems in life can be solved with either sake or fire. Usually sake first, then fire when things get complicated." I replied with a shrug, already pivoting to address the Nara shadow creeping toward my left foot.
I sidestepped Shikaku's shadow, making it look so effortless that it might as well have been accidental. The shadow darted forward again, more aggressively this time. I answered by flinging a kunai directly at Shikaku's feet, forcing him to shift his stance and breaking his concentration. As he stepped back, his shadow technique faltered, the dark tendril retreating several inches. Before he could recover, I sent a second kunai whistling past his ear, making him flinch and disrupting his hand seal.
"Shadow manipulation has two weaknesses," I remarked with a smirk, spinning a third kunai around my finger like it was a toy rather than a weapon. "Break the caster's concentration, and you break the jutsu."
The Nara heir's expression shifted from concentration to grudging appreciation as he readjusted his footing. "Since when do you pay attention in class?" he muttered, already recalculating his approach.
Meanwhile, Hiashi had engaged both Kushina and Takeo, his Byakugan active as he weaved through their attacks with typical Hyuga elegance. He was good—better than most in our class—but he was making one critical mistake: underestimating Kushina's sheer unpredictability.
Takeo was doing surprisingly well for someone often overlooked in class. He kept his movements tight and defensive, creating openings that Kushina ruthlessly exploited. Their teamwork wasn't polished, but it had a scrappy effectiveness that seemed to frustrate Hiashi.
As Hiashi focused on targeting Takeo's defenses, Kushina dropped into a seemingly sloppy stance that I recognized immediately. It was a trap—one that would spring the moment Hiashi committed to his next strike.
I turned my attention back to my own opponents just as Shibi launched a second, wider insect swarm while his other teammate—a boy with spiky brown hair I'd mentally dubbed "Porcupine-kun"—attempted to flank me.
Grumpy-chan, meanwhile, had fully engaged the fourth member of Shikaku's team—a lanky kid with oversized front teeth I couldn't help but call "Beaver-san" in my head—and was holding his own with textbook-perfect Uchiha taijutsu. For all his scowling, the boy moved with sharp timing, forcing Beaver-san into an increasingly defensive posture.
Inoichi hadn't been idle either. He'd positioned himself strategically between me and Shikaku, disrupting the Nara's attempts to catch me in his shadow while maintaining enough distance to avoid direct engagement. Every time Shikaku adjusted his position, Inoichi would counter-move, creating a dynamic that allowed me to focus on Shibi and Porcupine-kun.
"Two-on-one seems hardly sporting," I commented, leaning back just enough for a punch to whistle past my nose. I responded not with a counter-punch, but by simply sticking my foot out at the perfect moment, sending Porcupine-kun stumbling forward with his own momentum.
As he stumbled, I casually tapped his back with my palm—nothing fancy, just enough to throw off his balance further. His right arm flailed as he tried to recover.
"Basic school stuff," I explained helpfully as he struggled to regain his footing. "Physics over force."
The insects were closing in again, so I reached into my pouch and withdrew a handful of small metal balls that gleamed dully in the sunlight. With a flick of my wrist that looked more like I was skipping stones across a pond than fighting for my life, I scattered them in a wide arc.
The balls hit the ground and bounced in seemingly random patterns, but there was nothing random about their trajectories. While several ricocheted through sections of the swarm, most converged on Shibi, who stood half-concealed behind a large tree. He easily sidestepped the first volley, but the metal spheres ricocheted off each other in mid-air—my little surprise. Three balls converged from tricky angles, catching him in the shoulder, hip, and forehead with sharp thwacks, causing the once-coordinated swarm to falter and dissolve into confused, aimless buzzing.
I smirked at the sight of Shibi frantically trying to regain control of his insects. One opponent down, at least temporarily. But there was no time to celebrate—a shadow shot across the ground toward my feet, forcing me to leap sideways. I'd been so focused on Shibi that I'd nearly forgotten about his teammate. Spinning mid-air, I landed in a crouch and immediately had to jump again as another shadow stretched toward me.
Shikaku's eyes narrowed as he watched me dodge his shadow with seemingly minimal effort. "You move... differently today," he observed, a calculating look crossing his face. "Been holding back in class?"
I smirked. "Me? Holding back? I'm wounded by the accusation. Maybe I'm just having a good day."
Grumpy-chan had fully engaged the fourth member of Shikaku's team and was holding his own. The boy had skill, I'd give him that, even if his personality had all the warmth of a winter night in the Land of Iron.
I caught a flash of movement in my peripheral vision and twisted my body at the last possible second, feeling a kunai slice through the air where my shoulder had been a heartbeat earlier. Porcupine-kun had recovered faster than expected.
"Not bad," I acknowledged, before dropping into a crouch and sweeping Porcupine-kun's legs out from under him. As he fell, I plucked the kunai he'd dropped from midair and used it to pin his sleeve to the ground.
"Anyone else feeling like we're getting a bit bogged down here?" I called to my teammates, ducking under another swarm of insects while simultaneously keeping an eye on Shikaku's increasingly frustrated shadow manipulation.
Kushina's response was a wild laugh as she finally sprung her trap on Hiashi, dropping to the ground at the last second and using her legs to catapult him over her body when he overextended on a palm strike. The Hyuga prodigy went sailing through the air with an expression of surprise that was absolutely priceless.
"Having fun?" I asked her, as I positioned myself next to Inoichi.
"Best class ever!" she replied as she spun to face Hiashi again.
The stalemate couldn't last, though. Shikaku wasn't one to waste time on a battle of attrition, and I could see him reassessing the situation with that calculating gaze of his. We needed an exit strategy, preferably one that didn't involve our team actually losing.
Just as I was wondering if we'd need to make a break for it, there was a commotion from the east—a rush of movement through the underbrush that caught everyone's attention. A flash of yellow hair emerged from between the trees, followed by the familiar figures of Minato's team sprinting into the clearing.
"Perfect timing," I muttered with a grin, catching Inoichi's eye and giving him a subtle nod toward our planned escape route.
"EVERYONE DOWN!" Someone from Shikaku's team shouted as Minato's group crashed into the clearing like a well-coordinated storm. Choza immediately expanded his size, creating instant chaos as everyone scrambled to avoid being caught in what was now a three-way battle.
I grabbed Takeo by the collar and yanked him away from the direction of the new arrivals. "Run for it!" I called to my team, though I needn't have bothered. Kushina was already bounding away, pausing just long enough to stick her tongue out at a surprised Tsume Inuzuka. Inoichi, ever adaptable, had fallen in step beside me.
"Looks like we weren't the only ones with the 'skip defense, go offense' plan," I remarked, not slowing our retreat. "Minato's team just crashed the party."
Kushina glanced back, a wild grin spreading across her face. "Ha! That'll keep them busy, ya know!"
We crashed through the forest like a herd of deer, putting as much distance as possible between ourselves and two enemy teams. After two minutes of running, I finally signaled for us to slow down in a small clearing partially obscured by dense foliage.
"I think," Takeo wheezed, doubling over with his hands on his knees, "I'm going to throw up."
"Please don't," I requested, patting his back with what I hoped was comforting rather than patronizing. "We've got enough problems without adding 'smells like vomit' to our list of trackable features."
Grumpy-chan frowned. "We were ambushed within minutes of entering the forest and we still don't have our flag secured."
"When you put it that way," I mused, leaning against a tree trunk, "it sounds like we're off to a fantastic start."
Kushina snorted. "Could be worse. We could've been caught in that shadow jutsu after being ambushed by Minato's team."
"We need a new plan," Inoichi said. "Our assigned territory is that way," he pointed northeast, "but both Shikaku's and Minato's teams are probably going to be busy with each other for a while."
I glanced up at the sun filtering through the leaves, estimating we had about five and a half hours left in this exercise. Plenty of time for things to go catastrophically wrong in multiple creative ways.
"I vote we skip the defending part entirely," I suggested, brushing leaves off my sleeves. "Let's go hunting instead."
"For Shikaku's team?" Takeo asked, alarm evident in his voice.
Kushina's eyes lit up like she'd just discovered a new flavor of ramen. "I like this plan!"
"Of course you do," Grumpy-chan muttered, but I noticed he didn't actually object.
Inoichi tilted his head, considering our situation. "So both Shikaku and Minato's teams are focused on each other right now..."
"Which means," I said, a slow grin spreading across my face, "that they're completely distracted. Perfect time to circle back and catch them both off guard."
"Wait," Takeo interjected, eyes widening. "You want to go back? Toward the fighting?"
Kushina was already nodding. "I like this plan! They'll be weakening each other while we swoop in and clean up, ya know!"
"It's high risk," Grumpy-chan admitted, "but potentially high reward. If we wait until they've worn each other down..."
"Exactly," I confirmed, already turning back toward the sounds of distant combat. "Why hunt for flags all over the forest when we can let them do the hard work, then take what we want from the winners when they're exhausted?"
"That's... actually not a terrible plan," Grumpy-chan admitted reluctantly.
"But what about our own flag?" Takeo asked, worry clear in his voice.
I tapped my temple with a lazy smirk. "Already thought of that. Before I follow you guys, I'll set up a few nasty surprises around our core flag territory. Nothing says 'hello' like a face full of smelly powder or a sudden plunge into a pit."
Kushina raised an eyebrow. "You want to split up? Is that wise?"
I waved off her concern. "Please. I'm just springing some traps, not engaging the enemy. There's zero danger even if I'm alone." I glanced at the four of them with amusement. "And you four will be perfectly safe just spying on our enemies from a distance."
"We'll deal with defending our position after we've collected a few extras," I continued with a casual confidence that suggested this kind of strategic audacity was perfectly normal. "Much easier to defend one spot when you have multiple flags to bargain with."
Kushina punched the air. "Then let's go clean up the battlefield!"