The Gate would close with the sun.
Lucky, then, that Eitan had somehow dismissed Lyra early.
I was in my room now, alone, with a few hours to kill. Time had never felt heavier.
The nerves were getting to me. What the hell was I supposed to wear to the city's worst-kept secret? Was there some kind of dress code for illegal black markets built into the bones of a dead city? Did I need a mask? A weapon?
Should I even be going?
My stomach twisted.
I glanced down at the photo on my desk.
The one she gave yesterday.
Anya and me. Back when things felt simple. Back when I thought I knew her.
I picked it up. Ran a thumb along the paper's edge.
Actual paper. Printed. Real.
No one printed anymore. Not since the war. Not since digital became the norm. No one bothered to hold memories in their hands when they could lock them behind screens.
But she did.
She wanted me to have it.
To remember.
I looked at her smile, caught in mid-laugh, one arm slung casually over my shoulder like she owned the world and had decided to share it with me for a while.
I reminded myself why I was doing this.
So that we could both live. Together.
Or at least... so I could find a way to follow her.
What had Cayos meant about her past?
My leg bounced nonstop. Nerves? Adrenaline? Maybe something closer to hunger. The kind you only feel when something's been taken.
How was I supposed to pay for anything in the Gutter? Digital currency was everything now.
Regulated, tracked, policed. But in a place like the Gutter?
Maybe something older. Rarer.
Maybe something like a photo.
I clenched it tighter.
I didn't believe in gods. Not really. But I still found myself praying, to anyone who might be listening. That I could save her. That we'd find a way to make it out. That we could still have something like a happily ever after.
Who knew. Maybe someone was listening.
Maybe that's what scared me most.
I had to keep reminding myself what was at stake.
I threw on a black hoodie, pulled the hood up. Dark jeans, worn boots.
I looked in the mirror and tried to imagine what I'd look like down there, amongst criminals and scavengers.
I didn't look dangerous. I looked like a scared kid trying to look dangerous.
Too late to fix it now.
I glanced at the time again. Sunset was close.
One last look at the photo.
I slipped it into my pocket. Chest tight. Fingers numb.
Then I walked past Lyra's door.
Paused.
Thought about knocking.
I didn't.
She'd try to stop me.
Or worse, follow.
And I couldn't risk that.
Not after last time.
Not after Mum.
I told myself it hadn't been my fault. That I was just a kid. That I couldn't have known.
But I had known.
And I still let it happen.
I waited. I hesitated. I prayed someone else would step in.
No one did.
And now Anya was slipping through the same cracks.
This time, I'd move. Even if I was too late. Even if it broke me.
Even if I didn't know how.
Even if it made no sense.
Even if I had no right.
I knew it was reckless.
I knew I wasn't ready.
But doing nothing? Staying safe?
That would be worse.
Because if I couldn't protect the people I loved, then what was I for?
This wasn't Lyra's road to walk.
Not yet.
But mine?
Mine was already burning.
Even if it was only the start.
I was charging straight at it.
—
I had made it. I was at the plaza in my car.
The gate hadn't closed yet. Its reverberating hum was stronger here. My mouth was dry and I was only just realising that I hadn't eaten anything all day trying to follow Cayos.
"Hungry?"
Cayos asked, from the backseat.
I jumped. Nearly hit the horn.
He was sitting behind me, legs crossed like he'd been there for hours. The leather of his coat creaked faintly as he shifted, just enough to meet my eyes in the rear-view mirror.
"You... how did you-"
I twisted around.
"Where the hell did you come from?"
He tilted his head. "I asked if you were hungry."
My stomach answered before I could. A low, ugly growl.
Cayos smiled, tapping once on the window.
"Then let's eat. I know a place."
"And leave your phone," he added, almost as an afterthought.
I blinked. "What?"
"In the car," Cayos said, already stepping out. "It won't help you down there. And it won't be good if anybody finds out where we were."
He opened the door and stepped out into the plaza like it belonged to him. Not a glance back to see if I'd follow.
I hesitated. Every instinct screamed to keep it. To stay connected.
But he was right.
I locked it in the glove box and hesitated. My fingers clenched around the steering wheel. I looked up at the Citadel.
Still open.
Still waiting.
I looked down at the photo. The new one. Her and I, in that field. Frozen. Before everything cracked.
I tucked it into the front flap of my wallet. But my fingers found something else, warmer, older. The foil ring. Twisted, smoothed from worry. Bent at the edges from how often I'd pressed it flat, then rolled it again.
This time, I didn't retwist it. Just held it. Let it hurt.
She said I never looked right in photos. That I always looked like I was holding my breath. She kissed me just after that one.
I put it back in my pocket and got out of the car.
"Weren't we going to the Gutter?"
His smile just grew with that. I just followed.
For the first time, I wondered what his Vow was.
He'd appeared outside the gym like smoke through a crack. Slipped into my car without opening a door. Always seemed one step ahead, like he didn't move through space the same way the rest of us did.
Teleportation? And Mind-reading? Or something stranger?
No. Not mind-reading. It felt… looser than that. Like he heard things not spoken aloud. Hadn't he said something about echoes?
Maybe the thoughts echoing through ones mind?
I glanced at him as we walked.
Cayos moved like he didn't care who was watching, yet always knew they were. Every step was casual. Human. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was walking beside something much older.
Could he hear me now?
Could he feel the question forming?
What kind of truth did you promise the Reverie… to be given power like that?
What kind of Vow had Cayos made, that could warp reality itself?