The school bell chimed with a flourish of wind, signaling a new morning in Anemo School. Birds chirped, clouds lazily drifted above, and Heizou's third prank alarm exploded in Kazuha's desk drawer.
"I will ban all clocks in this building," Kazuha muttered, pulling confetti from his hair.
As the students made their way to the grand hall, a serious atmosphere settled over the group. Jean stood at the podium, flanked by Venti (who was clearly half-asleep), and Faruzan holding a globe that suspiciously kept rotating on its own.
Jean cleared her throat.
"Students. As a part of your growth and learning about Teyvat's diversity, the faculty has decided that next month, your curriculum will expand... beyond Mondstadt."
Gasps.
"You will begin a rotational Nation Tour Adventure Program," Jean said proudly. "Each of you will be visiting the other nations, starting with Liyue. You'll engage in challenges, culture exchange, combat training, and yes—academic projects."
Heizou leaned toward Wanderer. "Academic. Projects. In Inazuma. You're so doomed."
Wanderer narrowed his eyes. "I'm from Inazuma. I'll be fine. You, however, will get slapped by every shrine maiden."
Xiao, as always, said nothing—but he stood straighter, eyes already calculating how many emergency teleport points he'd need to avoid socializing.
Kazuha smiled faintly. "Perhaps this journey will be... the wind's poem in motion."
Venti clapped. "Sounds fun! We'll all be cultural ambassadors! I call dibs on being ambassador of snacks."
"Venti, you are the Archon," Jean said tiredly. "You're technically ambassador of everything."
---
Later That Day: Gymnastics Class with Lynette
The boys weren't ready.
Lynette stood at the door of the Gymnasium with her trademark deadpan expression, arms crossed, tail swaying subtly.
"Today," she said, "we practice illusion escape acrobatics."
"Sounds fun," said Heizou.
"You'll do it wearing performance costumes," she added.
Wanderer narrowed his eyes. "What kind of costumes?"
Lynette snapped her fingers. A series of garment bags floated in—each with frilly skirts, sparkly sleeves, ribbons, and—was that cat ears?
"I call this exercise: 'Elegant Escape Under Pressure'."
Xiao blinked. "No."
"Yes," Lynette replied, handing him a lavender ballerina set.
"You can't be serious," Wanderer muttered, eyeing the puffed sleeves on his.
"Rule 4B in the Anemo School Physical Conduct Guidebook," Lynette said coolly. "Students must comply with all unique outfit drills for flexibility training. Also, it's funny."
"She wrote that rule this morning," muttered Kazuha.
---
Transformation Begins
A full thirty minutes later, the Anemo dorm's changing room sounded like a battlefield.
"This ribbon is choking me!" Heizou shouted.
"These socks have lace," Kazuha said, inspecting himself with an expression of graceful resignation.
Xiao emerged last. Wearing a white frilly dress with glittery green patterns, a pair of translucent fairy wings, and a matching flower crown.
Everyone turned to stare.
Wanderer coughed so hard he nearly collapsed.
"You look like a butterfly-themed birthday cake."
Xiao's eye twitched. "Do you want to die?"
Wanderer was no better. His own outfit was a sleeveless blue and pink dress with fishnet sleeves, a choker, and shiny sandals. He didn't even try to hide his crimson embarrassment.
"If anyone paints me," he warned, "I will explode this school."
Heizou took a picture anyway.
---
Lynette's Ultimate Drill
Lynette stood at the center of the gym like a cool, stoic general while her army of glittery, furious Anemo boys lined up.
"Your mission," she said, "is to escape the spinning platform, dive through five hoops, avoid Sayu's water balloons, and strike a dramatic pose at the end."
"This is not a gymnastics class. This is a circus," Xiao muttered.
"Exactly," Lynette said.
Sayu rolled in with a bucket. "I filled these balloons with sparkle paint~!"
"No, no, no—" Wanderer started.
SPLAT.
One hit him right on the cheek, splashing blue and silver all over his face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Heizou screamed and bolted, only to get double hit by two more, turning him into a pink polka-dotted mess.
Kazuha—elegant and tragic—spun through the hoops like a wind-blown ballerina and somehow still looked poetic, even with a tiara slipping off his head.
Xiao, leaping and dodging with death-like precision, reached the final pose… only to slip on a balloon and land in a split.
"…I will never forgive this."
Lynette applauded with a tiny smirk. "Perfect 10. I call that move: 'The Suffering Swan.'"
---
Aftermath: The Dorm of Broken Pride
Back in the dorm, the boys sat in silence. Covered in paint. Still in frilly dresses. Emotionally scarred.
"That was the worst day of my life," muttered Wanderer, removing a glittery heart sticker from his neck.
"Jean said the field trips would build character," said Kazuha. "This built trauma."
Xiao was sitting silently, wings folded behind him, crown still on his head. "I will never speak of this again."
Heizou looked up. "We should burn the photos."
Wanderer growled. "You took photos?!"
Just then, a notification pinged on the Anemo School GroupChat.
[New message from Lynette]:
"Posting today's class highlights on the school board slideshow.
Everyone screamed.
---