The Demon King's throne room looked like a cathedral got mugged by a volcano.
Broken obsidian chunks were everywhere. One of them might've been a statue. Or a guard. Hard to tell.
Smoke curled up from a flaming pile of what used to be a chandelier.
Moonlight poured through a cracked ceiling like it was here to judge everyone's bad decisions.
And in the middle of it all. flat on the floor, limbs twitching like a dropped puppet was a very unlucky man in a shredded suit.
surrounded by smoke, sigils, and the faint smell of roasted ego, lay a man in a shredded groom's suit.
His name was Rei Alister.
Twenty years old. Black hair matted with blood. One shoe missing. A ceremonial cufflink lodged in his bicep. His face was half-buried in a pool of wine and ash, breathing shallowly, one twitching hand reaching toward a fallen crown.
He didn't want the crown.
He never did.
"…I just wanted peace," he wheezed.
Above him, chaos escalated to mythological proportions.
"He's mine!" shrieked a voice that had declared wars and brokered empires.
Princess Seraphina—daughter of the Sun Emperor—stood atop the throne's shattered steps, her golden tiara crooked, her broken rapier trembling in her grip. Her eyes blazed like twin suns. "I was his first friend! He shared his fruit snacks with me during nap time!"
"You mean after you poisoned his milk?" snarled another.
Crimson smoke curled across the room as Drakana descended from above, leathery wings spread wide. Her dragonic aura cracked the air around her. Her claws dug into the floor, eyes glowing molten orange. "He swore a fire pact with me. Our hearts are as one, forged in lava! That's how love works!"
A third voice chimed in, soft and eerily sweet "He called me Big Sis first."
A pale, silver-haired woman drifted into view, holding a bloodstained towel. Her smile was gentle. Her aura? Not so much.
Lady Sylvia, the adoptive elder sister. Infamous for gently removing the heads of suitors with surgical precision. "I gave him his first bath. I dried his little toes. I still have the towel. Don't you, my sweet little Rei."
A low sigh echoed across the ruined chamber "How juvenile."
From the shattered remains of the Demon Throne, a woman sipped wine with the air of an opera critic. Demon Queen Lucivella, regal even in war-torn velvet. Her long legs crossed, black-gloved fingers delicately held her goblet as arcane blood sigils orbited her like moons.
"Such noise over numbers," she said. "He'll remember the last wife best."
A second of silence followed.
Then all four women lunged for each other, powers flaring, blades, claws, and cursed silk flying.
Magic combusted. Screams echoed. The throne room trembled with fury and romance gone horribly wrong.
In the eye of the storm, Rei groaned and curled into fetal position. "How did it… come to this…"
Ding..
[Final Wife Event: Absolute Devotion Apocalypse — Triggered. Probably your fault.]
[Status: Breathing. Dignity: LOL. Bone Integrity: Somewhere between noodle and fossil.]
[System Remark: You broke the harem. Are you proud of yourself? You may now rest in pieces.]
"...I hate you," Rei muttered.
[Accepted.]
His vision blurred. Pain throbbed in every limb. And yet… he didn't die. Not yet.
"I just… wanted to read novels…" he said.
Rewind: Two Years Before the Yanderepocalypse
One moment he was dying under four future wives.The next, he was in bed, buried in blankets, breathing cheese dust.
Rei was back in his apartment. Sprawled in bed. Swaddled in three blankets, a bag of cheesy chips on his chest, and his old cracked phone raised before his eyes.
On screen: Chapter 527 — The Demon Lord's 99th Yandere Fiancée.
He giggled "Yeah right. Why would anyone want more than one obsessive girl trying to kill them for love? Just pick the dragon chick and call it a day."
"This was paradise. No social obligations. No small talk. No family pressure. Just me, fictional harems, and a fan spinning lazily overhead." he said with overjoyed face.
Then he saw something on the ceiling. A shadow no… a cockroach.
Rei stared at it and It stared back.
"…nope. Not today." Elsewhere, above mortal comprehension—
In the Divine Bureau of Cosmic Affairs, amidst clouds and floating paperwork towers, a certain goddess, Goddess Eris watched her assigned mortal with bleary eyes.
She hovered above a desk stacked with Isekai Application Forms, wearing a hoodie that read "404: Morality Not Found," sipping her fourth bubble tea of the evening.
"Oh look. He's at the emotional climax of Chapter 527. Cute."
Then she see a black blur.
"OH GOD A ROACH!!" she screamed. In divine panic, she flailed her hand. She launched a lightning and It pierced worlds.
Back on Earth, Rei only had time to whisper, "Wait—what's that ligh—?"
Boom.
A crack of thunder with Blinding light. Then silence.
Glowing Void — Moments Later
Rei opened his eyes. Everything was white.
He couldn't feel his arms or legs. Which was either terrifying or a dream come true.
"If this is heaven, where's my anime backlog?" Rei said.
Slurp.
A goddess floated upside-down above him, sipping bubble tea, her duck slippers swinging lazily.
"Oh hey You're awake. Sorry 'bout that. I panicked and uh… strike you while activating my divine cockroach defense."
"…you killed me with a lightning bolt." He said with shock and in confusion on his face.
"To be fair, it was an accident. But good news! You qualify for reincarnation. Premium tier, even..."
"…why?"
"Because you were single, unemployed, and had the soul potential of a harem protagonist. Rare combo." she said while slurping her tea.
Rei blinked and ask "…is there reading time in the new world?"
"well… it depends. You'll be reborn as a duke's son who recently slipped and went into a coma when he was five years old and have Fancy house and this world has Magic. And also no bugs."
"...Sold." Rei said instantly.
"You'll be reborn as a duke's son who fell into a coma at age five. You'll wake up fifteen years later. Don't worry — you'll catch up on puberty instantly. Very efficient right. Oh, and I'll throw in a bonus System. It's got achievements, missions, stat screens, affection meters—basically a romantic landmine detector."
"…what's it called?" Rei ask with suspicious eyes.
"Marriage Prep Mode: Ultimate Yandere Edition."
Rei frowned. "That sounds cursed."
Eris pressed a massive red button labeled "Reincarnate."
"Too late!" she smirked.
Rebirth — Velvet Kingdom
The scent of rose oil and sterilized magic filled the air.
Golden mana runes wove through the room like floating embroidery. The boy's chest rose his fingers twitched. He open his eyes.
He see his body "Wait… I've got abs. I HAVE ABS."
Soft voices gasped "He's awake!!".
The door burst open.
A flood of noble girls aged twenty — all beautiful, all familiar, all yandere. Blonde, brunette, blue-haired. Emerald eyes, icy glares, soft blushes.
"Rei!! You're back! I-I've been taking care of you every day for fifteen years, so you're obviously marrying me first!"
"No! He said I was his moonlight bride when we were six!"
They swarmed his bedside.
Rei sat up in sheer terror.
There are dozens of obsessed beauties with legal marriage contracts in their hands. And death in their eyes.
[System Online: Welcome, meatbag!]
[Congratulations! You've been reborn into hell! We mean… a loving environment!]
[Immediate Threat Level: Through the roof and into the trauma zone.]
[First Quest: Accept one hug. Failing will trigger Yandere Rage. Good luck.]
The girls lunged and Rei screamed in fear.
To be continued...