SLAM
"FUCK NO!"
A large oppressive aura rained down on all of us as Gremory-senpai, Asia, and I all stared at the incredibly irate Naru-nee who had slammed both of her hands onto the table. Mittelt and Issei were cowering behind my seat, staring fearfully at Naru-nee who looked so enraged that her eyes were on fire. Despite this atmosphere, Jack stood passively by my side and Sera-tan sat in my lap, hugging me as she does.
"There is NO WAY I'm letting ANOTHER girl stay here, Haruto!" Naru-nee raged on.
"But—" Gremory-senpai tried to interrupt.
"NO!" Naru-nee answered prematurely. She gestured to the oblivious Sera-tan and Jack who was clinging to my pants leg, glaring at Naru-nee like a child clinging to their stuffed animal. "I already have the loli and the busty magical girl who… oddly isn't dressed like a magical girl at the moment! It's bad enough I have to worry about those two getting preggers every night, but I am not putting up with a third girl! Two babies two random bi—I mean GIRLS had with my brother is the most I'm putting up with!"
"EEEEEEEEEHHHHH!?" Asia's face flushed red at what Naru-nee insinuated.
"Onee-samaaaa!" I complained at how she made me out to be a sexual deviant. Sure I liked being ecchi with girls, but I'm a responsible man and would never go without protection unless it was discussed to a fair extent and intentional.
"Actually, Asia has no intention of doing such a thing." Gremory-senpai said suddenly, unaffected by Naru-nee's loud ranting. "In fact, if anything, if such an occurrence were to take place with Haruto-kun and any other women, Asia would be a great help in raising such children."
Naru-nee paused, perhaps wondering what the Hell Gremory-senpai was saying as was I.
My Onee-sama then wordlessly sat back down in her seat, her arms crossed under her chest and one eyebrow raised. "Alright, Gremory-san. Explain."
Gremory-senpai smiled, clearly sensing she had gained her path to victory in this conversation.
"Very well then. It appears you are under the misconception that Asia is a girl with a relationship with Haruto similar to that of Serafall and Jacqueline—"
"OI! Don't say things in a way that's easily misunderstood!" I shouted.
"When in actuality," The crimson-haired girl continued, "she is here to become your sister-in-law."
Naru-nee's eyes became like dots. "Say what?" Her eyes turned towards Asia. "What say you on this? ...Be up front with me. What exactly is your relationship with my idiot baby brother?"
"HEY!" I complained despite Sera-tan playfully stroking my face.
Asia moved nervously in her seat, blushing as she held her hands in her lap. "Ummm… Umm… well… I…"
"Come on." Naru-nee urged in an almost indifferent tone.
Asia then bowed her head. "Haruto-san proposed to me and I very much desire to become his wife!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Holy shit. Didn't think the kid had the balls to take that step." Naru-nee let out, not bothering with tact.
I hung my head, deciding to go with the flow of the river of embarrassment that continued to flow in my direction, drowning me in its humiliating waters.
Asia's face was not only redder than a tomato, but it was also glowing.
Naru-nee remained silent for a few seconds before speaking. "Is this the truth?" Then her gaze turned back to me. "Haruto?"
… Way to put me on the spot, Naru-nee.
… Fuck it!
"Yes." I sighed out. There was no fighting this. Plus, Gremory-senpai's gaze was boring into the side of my skull. If I had said no, she probably would have decapitated me or something.
I noticed Gremory-senpai not being the only person staring at me.
Asia's eyes were sparkling with joy as she covered her mouth with her hands. She looked so happy that it just 'bout made it worth going with this lie.
Onee-sama stared at us for another several silent minutes. She mainly stared at me and Asia.
More silence… More silence… Still more silence…
"I ship it." Naru-nee said, leaning back and laying her feet on the table. "Welcome to the family." Then she paused, as if remembering something. "Oh yeah, but if a third girl's gonna live here, then no more 'secret nighttime excursions' to Haruto's room in the middle of the night."
""WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!""
Jack and Serafall literally leaped onto the table in front of us, staring at Naru-nee in disbelief. If there was any plus side to this, it would be that I was getting the greatest view of Sera-tan's posterior. Really though… it was just… so nice…
Naru-nee crossed her arms. "I'll have enough trouble keeping track of three girls let alone their sexual activities. While everything is free-game during the day, I'll be damned if my baby brother is doing ecchi things in the middle of the night, getting girls pregnant. So no girls allowed in Haruto's room past 11 P.M.!"
"But that's not fair!" Sera-tan complained, her eyes watering.
"Onii-chan's bed is the warmest!" Jack joined in on complaining.
Naru-nee smiled misleadingly. "Yes, well, last time I checked, this house was in MY name. So I'll run it however the fuck I like. I STILL haven't received a real explanation as to who the hell you are or why you and that loli are living here in the first place. So unless you'd like to explain how you have more rights in this house than anyone else, I'd suggest you deal with it." Naru-nee made an attempt at a cute expression. "Mmkay~?"
She was pushing a cute expression, but she was radiating a huge demonic aura from her body, so it was clear there was no room for negotiation on this issue.
Jack and Serafall were suddenly clinging to each other, staring in terror from the other side of the table.
Naru-nee then clapped her hands together. "Alright then. Chop-chop, Haruto! Go fetch my newest baby sister's things!"
My jaw dropped. What a turnaround!
"DO IT!" When Naru-nee's eyes start glowing demonically, that's when you know when to shut up and do as she asks.
When I got up from my chair, I noticed that Issei and Mittelt weren't even there anymore. Instead, where they had been before was a hastily written note excusing their bullshit…
Assholes.
"Thank you very much, Namikaze-san." Gremory-senpai thanked, bowing her head to Naru-nee. "Haruto, I will leave Asia's care to you from now on. Asia, you will be staying with Haruto at his home. So make sure not to be impolite. Get along with Haruto's Onee-sama."
Asia nodded, but seemed uncertain. "Is it really alright? Won't it… be a burden… if I stay…?" I patted Asia on the head, causing her to turn to me, surprised.
My cheeks pinked a bit. "Too late for that. You're one of my precious people now. It's no bother for me to help take care of you." I grinned. "I just hope you're ready to live in the most abnormal house in Japan." If only I were joking…
"Well—"
"Do not worry, Asia-chan!" Naru-nee said with stars in her eyes. "You can depend on your new Onee-sama to take care of you forever! You will make my idiot baby brother an excellent bride!"
"Wait a second!" I interjected. "You said I was getting kicked out when I turned 18! What gives?!"
Naru-nee appeared beside Asia, hugging her gently and narrowing her eyes at me. "Well maybe if you were born an absolutely adorable and polite girl rather than an annoying playboy, I would tolerate your lazy ass for much longer."
"What'd you say?!"
Then the storm of hostility became focused between me and Naru-nee, the sibling battle for dominance continuing from where it last left off.
"Please don't fight…" Asia pleaded. Then Naru-nee and I immediately broke off our soon-to-be battle due to Asia's cuteness, our heads hung in shame.
"Ah! So peaceful-natured, Asia-chan!" Naru-nee said with joy. "You'll definitely make my idiot baby brother a wonderful bride!" And then me and Naru-nee were arguing again. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a sad expression on Gremory-senpai's face.
"Bride, huh…"
I frowned.
"Oi! Haruto! Get Asia's things!" Naru-nee demanded.
Groaning, I nodded, heading back outside to fetch Asia's things.
Seriously, how does a nun end up gaining SO MANY POSSESSIONS!