(No More Us)
••••••••
Vaughn
It's been three days since I arrived in Texas, and the first thing I do once I get up this morning is to visit Jake's house again. I look up to the same window, only to find that the curtain is still shut.
Jake steps out of the house to go to work again, but this time when he looks at me, he just sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. He gets into his car and drives.
Clenching my fist on my sides, I call her again, "Melanie!" But still, there's no response. I find myself standing alone on the street again, but my yearning to see her doesn't change. In fact, it becomes even stronger.
I will wait, Melanie. I will.
I will still be here.
*******
The afternoon passes by, and now, the sky has become dark. Earlier, I was away just to grab some lunch, and now, I'm still standing in the same spot, in front of this house.
I turn my head when I notice Jake's car pulling in. And the first thing he does after he comes back from work is scrutinizing me. He shakes his head again before walking up to the front door.
"Jake," I call, and he turns around. "I'm not going anywhere," I say.
He ignores me and closes the door behind him. My jaw tightens as I look down at the road. But I'm not giving up.
A drop of water hits my nose, and when I look up at the sky, I notice that the rain has started to pour down. Shìt. Even the sky is against me now.
The rain starts to fall hard in a matter of time, drenching me. But I still don't move. I can't. The coldness of the water seeps through my body, making me feel even more numb than I already am.
My heart? It's freezing. And I don't know how to heal it, because only one person can make it warm again.
How long have I been standing here in the rain? Half an hour? An hour? I don't even know. I lose track of time, until I find myself shaking due to the coldness, my teeth chattering.
The front door is opened, and I jerk from the sudden movement. My heart almost stops when I finally see Melanie standing before me, right in front of the door and is still sheltered from the rain.
I swallow. Hard. I miss her so much. I see the unshed tears in her eyes, and all I want to do is to hug her.
But I can't do that. I can't ruin this. It even seems like a miracle that she finally opens the door.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, a hint of anger in her voice.
"I need to talk to you-" "You'll get sick," she hisses, making me taken aback.
'You'll get sick'. Really? Is that what she just said? Is that the first thing she told me when she saw me again? Dammit. Goddammit.
I clench my jaw as the emotions I've been holding inside me finally explode. With long strides, I approach her, making her retreat as she pushes her back against the door.
"Really, Mel? That's what you said when you finally saw me again? That I'd get sick in the rain!?" I snap when we finally come face to face. I take her hand and hit my chest with it. "Why don't you just hit me, huh?" I make her slam her palm against my chest even harder. "Why don't you just hit me, slap me, yell at me, scream at me!" I shout. I deserve all of that. I even want to kìll myself for hurting her.
My chest is heaving up and down from yelling at her. Fvck. I fvck it up again.
"I don't think that there's anything else to talk about," she stutters, looking down. "It's over, Vaughn," she whispers, and that one sentence makes me want to break something.
My lips form into a thin line as I rake my fingers through my wet hair. I'm trying my best to control myself. "Would you just listen to what I'm going to say to you?" I ask.
Slowly, she looks up at me. And when I stare into her broken emerald orbs, I feel like breaking down. Tears threaten to fill my eyes. Angry tears. Because I'm so angry at myself.
"I'm sorry. I messed it up." My voice is shaking. "I didn't mean to hurt you. That night when I came back late from Austin's house, I just discovered that I was betrayed by my best friend and the girl I used to love," I stop at the mentioning of Camila. "When I say 'I used to', I mean it. I didn't love her anymore." When I search Melanie's eyes, I can see that she's not completely convinced about this.
"My head was so fvcked up at that time. I'd never thought that Jake would have done something like that to me, and every time I looked at you, it fvcking hurt right here." I hit my heart with my fist as tears finally blur my vision. She chokes in tears too, staring at me.
"But why didn't you tell me about it?" she snaps. "I asked you, Vaughn, many times. Why didn't you let me know what you were feeling?"
"Then what would you think of Jake?" I snap back, and she becomes silent. "Would you just shout at him, yell at him, scream at him?" Yes, she would. She would definitely do that if she knew what he'd done to me. "I didn't want him to find out like that. I was fvcking mad at him. I saw a fvcking video which showed clearly that he was kissing her. What was there left to confront him? It was crystal clear to me that he betrayed me."
Her lips tremble as she looks away. "He was only trying to protect you," she whispers.
Yes, I know about it now. Had he not lured Camila like that, she wouldn't have been completely blown away by him and believed him. And right then, he tricked her and destroyed her.
"Melanie," I whisper her name, and she turns to look at me again, making my breath catch in my throat. "That night when we made love, I meant everything I said to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you about Jake. I'm sorry that I had to look for her. I'm sorry that I became distant to you because of my rage toward Jake."
She swallows, her eyes teary, and I really hope that she can understand what I feel.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you." Tears finally escape my eyes. Shìt. I can't stop them. I'm fvcking crying in front of her, and I can't fvcking stop it. "I didn't mean to cheat on you back there in the club. I know that this is a lame excuse, but I was drunk, and all I could see of her was you. You, Melanie. I missed you. I was so fucked up without you, and that's why Austin called you."
"I worried about your safety every night that I had to call the securities to check on you," I keep going.
If she still can't understand it, I don't know what else I'm going to do. "I didn't know that you would overhear my conversation with Jake. I said some shit I didn't mean, just to piss him off."
"Did you really believe that it was all an act?" The pain inside my chest is unbearable. "Do you really believe that?" I rasp, and she lets out a soft cry. "I love you. I'm in love with you."
She stares at me with those innocent eyes that are glistening with tears, and there's nothing else I'd rather do than to kiss away all her pain. Pain that I've inflicted myself.
"Now, Melanie, is the time to say something," I whisper. My heart thumps hard against my ribs as I wait for her response. Does she get my feelings? Does she believe me?
Will she forgive me?
"I—" She opens her mouth, tearing her gaze away from me. "I don't love you anymore."
My heart is shattered into a million pieces. What did I just hear?
She doesnt... She doesn't love me anymore. She stops loving me. She can't. She doesn't want to.
I can't even utter any word. Still staring at her, I wish she could tell me that I've heard her wrong. But then, the next words she says to me are, "I'm sorry, Vaughn." It's barely a whisper that leaves her mouth, so soft and broken.
Then, she turns around and steps into the house, closing the door softly behind her.