"Hikari-senpai! Hikari-senpai!"
Kamizuki Hikari, who had been dozing against a tree, was abruptly awakened by the noisy shouting.
A head of dazzling golden hair filled his vision—it was Ino, her face slightly flustered.
"What is it?" Hikari yawned.
At this moment, he suddenly felt that being a teacher might not be such a bad thing after all.
At the very least, he could sleep wherever he wanted, and no one would say a word.
'In that case, maybe I should just be their teacher properly?'
The thought lasted no more than a second before Hikari tossed it into the far corners of his mind.
Being a teacher was never going to happen. His life was all about gate duty, clocking in and out, and idling through the day just to get by.
"Well, we caught the wild rabbits. What should we do next?"
"One of you go gather firewood, another handle the rabbits, and the last one... hmm, how about giving me a shoulder massage?" Hikari cheerfully assigned tasks to the trio.
"So troublesome..." Shikamaru muttered under his breath. Glancing at Chōji and then at Ino, he knew without asking that the job of butchering the rabbits would fall to either him or Chōji.
"Chōji, you—"
Before Shikamaru could finish, Chōji had already made his decision. "I'll go gather firewood. Shikamaru, you handle the rabbits."
That left Ino, who began listlessly kneading Hikari's shoulders.
"Hikari-senpai, I'm starving!"
"Starving helps with losing weight." Hikari replied casually.
Never mind how weak Ino's massage was—just the thought of a cute girl giving him a shoulder massage was more than enough to please him.
Fortunately, Shikamaru and Chōji had enough sense not to call Ino over to butcher rabbits or gather firewood. If either of them had dared come over for a shoulder massage, Hikari would've made sure they experienced what true "hellish" training felt like.
*Thwack!*
A hard pat.
Ino paused and whined, "Hikari-senpai, I'm seriously so hungry! I feel like I could eat a whole cow!"
"Quit the act. If Chōji said that, I might believe him. But you? You couldn't even finish a cow's leg, let alone a whole cow." Kamizuki Hikari never held back when it came to roasting people.
"Hikari-senpai, you're the worst!" Realizing her whining had no effect, Ino gave up on the massage. She brushed off the ground beside him and plopped down.
"A guy like you will never find a wife. You're clearly destined to be alone!"
"Ino, you're still young. You don't understand what kind of man is really a catch. A man like me is actually very popular in Konoha. If I hadn't resisted all those advances, my kid would be your age by now!"
"Yeah, right. Cheap talk!" Ino didn't buy it at all.
"I'm not bragging. Actually, you're better at exaggerating than I am. Remember what you said just now? If you weren't bluffing, I'll go find you a whole roast cow right now and make you eat it."
Ino rolled her eyes at him.
'Hmph, Hikari-senpai is so annoying. I'm a girl, so what if I exaggerate just a little?!'
"Hikari-senpai, do you just not want to train us?" Now that they were alone, Ino decided to ask something more personal.
Hikari scratched his chin and gave Ino a crafty look.
"What's wrong?" Ino subtly scooted to the left, increasing the distance between them.
Hikari shook his head. "Nothing, I just didn't realize I was being so obvious. Even you noticed?"
"Is it really that surprising that I noticed?" Ino felt her intelligence had been insulted.
Heaven knows, while her IQ might not be as freakishly high as the Nara clan's geniuses, compared to the average person, she was still plenty sharp.
Take that big-forehead girl from their class, for example. Ino still couldn't understand why she was so obsessed with Sasuke.
Back in the academy, sure—they were all classmates with limited life experience, so having a crush was understandable.
But now that they'd graduated from the Academy, Haruno Sakura—that big-forehead—was still hung up on Sasuke. Talk about long hair and short insight...
Oh wait, she cut her hair last time.
Sigh. Hopeless love.
"Well, it's not that surprising. Just slightly beyond my expectations." Hikari raised his right hand, making a tiny gap between his thumb and index finger.
Truly—the universe in a fingertip (just a tiny bit).
"Hmph, I don't care!"
Ino gave a tsundere huff, though she didn't take Hikari's teasing too seriously.
As the heiress of the Yamanaka clan, she was far more composed than most girls her age.
"Then why don't you want to teach us? Do you hate us?" Ino pressed on.
Scratching his head, Hikari thought carefully before answering, "It's not that I dislike you. It's just that Ino-Shika-Chō is way too much trouble. Plus, you all have your clan's secret techniques. My meager skills will be outclassed by yours in no time. Leading your team? I have zero confidence. Hey, Ino, how about we make a deal?"
"Go on. I'll think about it." Ino felt she'd finally seized the upper hand.
"Go back and tell Inoichi that I'm slacking off, maybe even bullying you a little. Ask him to have Tsunade-sama assign another jōnin to guide your team. If you agree, I can recommend Hatake Kakashi to you. He's a legend in Konoha, known as the Copy Ninja. He's mastered a thousand jutsu. With him, you'll definitely improve fast." Just in case Ino didn't know about Kakashi, Hikari even gave a little intro.
In response, Ino smirked mysteriously.
That threw Hikari off.
"That smile... it's suspicious. Don't tell me you're falling for my looks?"
"Pftu!" Ino spat in disdain without hesitation and stood up, dusting her hands.
"Shikamaru! Chōji! Did you hear that? Hikari-senpai doesn't even want to teach us!"
She then looked at Hikari triumphantly, eager to see his shocked, flustered expression after being outplayed.
From the forest, Chōji and Shikamaru walked over.
Their expressions were odd—somewhere between anger and confusion as they stared at Hikari.
"What's wrong?"
"After hearing what I said, you must be furious, right? If so, then hurry back and ask the Hokage to assign you a new instructor."
"I'm doing this purely because I know my own limits. I'm not capable of training you properly."
"Ino-Shika-Chō are the pillars of Konoha. I can't afford to ruin you just because I'm not good enough!"
The raw sincerity in Hikari's voice was enough to move even the coldest hearts to tears.
Even Ino was caught off guard by his performance.
"Hikari-senpai, you're shameless! Don't you feel even a little guilty about trying to dump us like that?"
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