Mia is grinning as we walk out into the blindingly bright sunlight of the desert.
It's hot. Even the early morning air is hot.
She skips along beside Eric, who is wearing a scowl that looks like he's just been sentenced to death.
Well, alright. That's a bit extreme.
It's not really an expression of his fear or nerves - it's a lot more like annoyance.
He's...just really, really grumpy. He doesn't even seem worried at all.
Not in the way that I am, at least.
I'm doing everything I can to keep from biting my nails or picking at a thread on my jumpsuit - one of the uniforms we've been given to replace our original clothes once they wore out. It's...really hard. And I'm pretty sure I look nervous and twitchy to everyone else.
Hestia's face is smooth, but...she seems to sense my discomfort. She keeps glancing over at me with a smile, as if that's meant to be some sort of encouragement.
It helps, but. It's...not as strong a medicine as I might like. I'm still nervous.
My eyes are fixed on Mia and Eric's back as they walk forward.
They're both chattering, talking with one another, but I don't really hear the words.
They don't seem nervous at all.
I envy them.
I know they are nervous, because they discussed it during breakfast. But somehow they're just able to...push it all down? Walk forward like there's nothing bothering them at all.
It's been over a year.
Maybe it's been two.
The truth is, I lost track of how long it took from the time I arrived in this place until the first time we met the resistance. There wasn't much point, and I was...overwhelmed, to say the least.
But I know it's been...
At least a year and a half.
It can't be less than that.
It feels like it's been a lifetime.
It feels like I've only ever known Eric, Mia, and Hestia.
In all that time...I'm not sure I've changed at all. I wouldn't say that out loud - Eric will tease me relentlessly about being younger than him even more than he already does.
But...he has grown.
Mia has too, in a sense.
Hestia's grown, too. She's more confident, bold, and expressive. She looks healthier and happier, too. Less timid, less lonely and scared, and less glued to my side.
But. It really feels like I haven't changed at all. I'm just the same as I ever was. I haven't grown or changed.
Is that-
Can I say it's a good thing? That I can just put my life on pause and go back to life like normal, like none of this ever happened, once I get home? Is that something good, or something bad? Something I can look back on with fondness or pride, or something I'll wish I had done differently?
Eric stops abruptly, making me stumble as I stop myself from slamming into his back.
"What the-" I start.
"They stopped." He gestures ahead.
There's a long enough line of us that I can't see our captors leading us through this desert but...now that my nose isn't about to be smashed between Eric's shoulder blades, I can see that the other humans ahead of us have stopped too. We've come to a complete halt. And I don't know why. Our captors haven't told us to.
"Maybe-?"
"We're here." Eric mutters.
My heart leaps into my throat. Already? Didn't we walk much further last time...? I can't see where 'here' is, not in the sense of what we've made it to.
Mia crosses her arms. "Looks like the solution probably isn't running back to the caves this time."
Eric's shoulders are tense, his lips pursed. His fingers curl into fists and release, over and over, and he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Right."
I blink.
What makes her say that...?
As I squint at the horizon, I think I can just make out something like buildings. They're a little too far for me to really be able to tell anything, though.
And the sun is in my eyes, too, so that doesn't help at all.
"Are you sure...?" I finally manage to murmur.
Mia nods. "Not a guarantee. But the distance we walked last time was intentional, to make the run a challenge. If those buildings up there are our destination, it's not far enough to be a challenge this time."
"...More like they plan to be observing us this time..." Eric hums, squinting. "Can't be sure of that. They could have other plans, too."
"...I can't tell what it is. Do you know...?" I ask, squinting in the direction Mia's looking in. "...If they've said anything?"
Mia shakes her head. "Not a clue. They didn't tell us anything ahead of time last time, either."
"Probably not a coincidence we made it to some kind of compound up there, though."
"Why did we stop, then....?"
He shrugs. "Check-in?" Eric glances around, squinting at the others nearby. "I can't see what's going on up there, but if they're processing people in order, it'd explain it."
I blink. "You're not even curious about it, are you...?" It comes out of my mouth without me thinking it through.
Eric shrugs. "No point to that. There's nothing we can do about it." His eyes are dark and thoughtful. "We'll be finding out soon enough."
That...is true.
But I find that far more ominous than reassuring.
The fact that whatever horrible things they have in mind are looming closer by the minute, the longer we wait.
He sighs. "Calm down." He reaches over and ruffles my hair. "The test won't be until tomorrow."
I blink at him, hand frozen halfway up to slapping his away.
"--How. Do you know that?"
He arches a brow and gives me a tight smile, before speaking in a notably more quiet voice. "They wouldn't be planning a meet up with us if we won't have time to have one." His voice is barely above a whisper. I have to lean closer to even catch the words at all.
"....Oh." My mouth snaps shut and my face burns a little.
Right. That makes a lot of sense, now that he says that.
If the resistance meets up with people at night while our captors sleep, and they have planned to meet up with us here, then we must have a safe night out that they can make contacts with us at.
And if it isn't tonight, it means that they can't.
...Which probably means the tests are tomorrow.
It also means...
Though it may be too much to hope, maybe we won't be taking the test at all.