I try not to read too much into it at first.
The strange fluttering in my stomach, the quiet wave of nausea at dawn, the way my body craves things I haven't eaten since childhood. I brush it off as nerves, exhaustion from studies, or maybe the herbs doing something harmless but noticeable. But deep down… I know.
I feel it.
Life; delicate, forming, dancing quietly within me.
I wait another week before I allow myself to be sure. I sneak out to see Dr. Menas again. He runs his quiet test, this time using nothing but a drop of my blood and a strand of my hair dipped in heated oil.
When the oil turns deep gold, he smiles. "You are with child, My Lady. Barely two moons gone. But yes… the seed has taken."
I close my eyes and clutch my chest. My throat thickens with emotion.
Another child.
Another chance.
A silent triumph over whoever tried to stop me.
I return to the palace with my face calm, a secret blooming like a flower behind my ribs. I don't tell Cassian, not yet. He's been under so much strain from the Council's quiet threats, from his mother's cold manipulations, and from his own buried wounds. I want the news to be a balm, not a bargaining chip. I want it to come from a place of peace.
But hiding joy is harder than I thought, especially from Esther.
She notices the small things first. The extra time I spend lying in bed. My sudden disgust for the rose-perfumed soap I used to love. My quiet sips of ginger water before morning tasks.
One evening, as she helps me undress, she stops mid-motion and places a hand gently on my stomach.
"You've changed," she says softly. "Your scent… your glow… You're with child, aren't you?"
I don't answer with words, I just nod, tears rushing to my eyes as her face lights up.
"Oh, My Lady!" she exclaims, her hands flying to her mouth. "You carry a miracle and keep it to yourself?"
I hush her quickly, pulling her into the inner chamber.
"Please. Not a word. Not yet. I want to be sure this time. I want to carry this child in peace."
Esther takes my hand, her eyes glistening. "But Prince Cassian deserves to know. He's been walking around with worry etched into his bones, hearing what they say… This will lift the world off his shoulders."
"I know," I whisper. "And I'll tell him. Just… not now. Let it be ours first, mine and this tiny soul. I want to carry this secret a little longer, before the world claws at it."
She hugs me tight, the kind of hug that doesn't need words. Then she starts humming, a soft lullaby her mother once sang, she tells me. A song for safe beginnings.
And in the quiet of my chamber, with the moon watching from beyond silk-draped windows, I feel safe for the first time in months.
The enemy doesn't know yet.
But hope has taken root again.
***
The symptoms grow louder.
My body is no longer mine to hide, the morning nausea, the dizzy spells, the strange hunger that comes in waves. My robes, carefully adjusted by Esther each morning, can only disguise so much.
Cassian's gaze has lingered too long lately. His concern is beginning to speak louder than his silence. I know him, he won't ask unless he's sure. But he watches me like a man standing before a puzzle he's already halfway solved.
So I speak first.
"I need some time away," I tell him one evening while we walk beneath the jasmine trees behind the palace. "Just a few weeks to rest. The final stretch of law exams has drained me more than I expected."
He stops walking and turns to me, his brow furrowed in worry. "You want to leave the palace?"
"Not far," I smile, brushing my fingers lightly against his. "The Wild Villa. It's quiet. Peaceful. Just me, Esther… and maybe you, if you can steal a few days."
He doesn't hesitate. "Then I'll take you myself."
Two days later, we arrive.
The Wild Villa is exactly as I saw it last, tucked between hills thick with pine and wild orchids, with wind that hums like an old lullaby. The stone walls hold silence like a secret, and the garden is full of soft places to sit, to breathe, to think. To wait.
Cassian brings me in, his arm around me the entire way. "You'll rest here," he says softly, brushing a stray hair from my face. "You won't worry about the palace, the Council, or anything else. Just you and the stars."
He plans to stay for a few days before returning to handle royal affairs. We agree to treat the stay like a quiet escape, just the two of us, like lovers rediscovering each other in a forgotten world.
But I have another plan.
Esther helps me set everything in motion.
The dinner is simple, but enchanting. Rose-gold lanterns hang from the veranda. The table is set outdoors, near the garden Cassian helped plant years ago. The scent of grilled sea bass and roasted dates floats through the air, alongside the floral steam of a ginger-mint tea blend.
"Everything is ready," Esther whispers behind me as she adjusts my flowy green dress. "You look radiant, My Lady. He'll never forget tonight."
My heart hammers.
I've carried this secret for months; through fear, longing, and sacred silence. Now it's time.
Cassian arrives for dinner, wearing that dark green tunic I love, his sleeves rolled up, his eyes lit by firelight.
"You did all this?" he asks, looking around the setting, amused and touched.
"Esther helped," I say with a soft smile. "I just wanted us to have a moment."
We talk first. About nothing. About everything. The future. His worries. My studies. Laughter comes easier than I thought. But as the night grows quieter and the stars blink awake above us, I know it's time.
I reach for his hand across the table. He looks up, his fingers closing gently around mine.
"There's something I haven't told you," I whisper.
He leans closer, the smile fading into quiet seriousness.
"I didn't come to the villa just to rest, Cassian. I came because… I couldn't hide it much longer. I needed to breathe before I told you this."
I rise slowly from my seat and step toward him. His eyes follow every move. I place his hand on my belly.
"At first, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to raise your hopes. But now… I know."
It takes him a moment; a slow blink, a tightening jaw, breath held between wonder and disbelief.
"You're…?" he breathes, his voice cracking at the edge.
I nod. "Yes. We're having a child."
Silence stretches. His hand doesn't move. Then, suddenly, he pulls me into his arms, breathless with joy and trembling with something deeper than words.
"You have no idea what this means to me," he whispers into my hair. "You've just… saved something I thought I was about to lose."
And there, in the quiet warmth of Wild Villa, the weight we've both carried slips away, replaced with something pure, something whole.
Hope.