"XX/XX/XXXX, a female corpse was discovered in the[ Rin's Family Grocery Store ]in the Human Village. The corpse was in a miserable state—clothes disheveled, soaked in sweat, but no obvious external injuries were found. Preliminary judgment suggests suicide..."
Early in the morning, as she looked at Patchouli, who had collapsed unconscious on the floor, Shameimaru Aya solemnly recorded the details in her notebook.
Before she could even weave in some dramatic tale of love and hatred, Sakuya promptly karate-chopped her on the head.
"Ow—!"
"Stop making things up, unless you want the boss to hang you from the flagpole." Sakuya shot her an annoyed glare before quickly moving to help Patchouli up. But the moment she touched her, seeing Patchy's soaked nightgown, her face flushed uncontrollably.
'Did that rascal Marisa get all lovey-dovey with the boss again?'
"Patchy, wake up. Can you hear me?"
After laying Patchy on the bed, Sakuya gently patted her cheeks, trying to rouse her. But Patchouli remained unresponsive, lying there peacefully like a thoroughly satisfied corpse.
However, when Sakuya shook her slightly, Patchy suddenly trembled, instinctively arching her back while mumbling incoherently—
"N-no more... slow down...If this keeps up... my brain's gonna melt...Just let me... rest a little..." Sakuya's eye twitched as she gazed pityingly at Patchouli's dazed sleeping face.
'Poor Patchy... she's already teetering on the edge of a cliff. One wrong step, and she'll plunge into the abyss.'
"Aya, keep an eye on her. I'll go get some hot water to clean her up and change her clothes—sleeping like this will just make her sick."
"Oh~" Aya responded casually, plopping down on a nearby chair to continue drafting her article.
Might as well make this the second installment of 『 The Silver Debauchery Chronicles of the Gensokyo Grocery Store 』!
As Sakuya stepped into the hallway, she spotted Suika sneakily pressing her ear against Marisa's door, as if eavesdropping.
Noticing Sakuya's gaze, Suika immediately pretended to just be passing by, though a smug grin crept onto her face.
'What's this little gremlin up to?' Sakuya blinked but didn't dwell on it, heading straight for the bathroom.
Passing through the living room, she saw Ran Yakumo and the shrine maiden already up and busy in the kitchen, skillfully preparing breakfast for everyone.
Reimu, who had been forcibly dragged out of bed, was slumped against Momiji in a half-asleep daze, looking like she might return to the dream world any second.
For a moment, the entire store was filled with a warm, lively atmosphere...
Until the head maid opened the bathroom door.
"Ugh—!"
The overpowering stench of alcohol hit her like a tidal wave, making Sakuya cover her nose in disgust.
Empty liquor bottles were scattered everywhere, spilled drinks staining the floor—it looked less like a bathroom and more like a distillery.
Sakuya's face darkened as she glared at the tightly shut hot spring room door, a sense of foreboding creeping over her.
When she cautiously pushed the door open—
WHOOSH!
A suffocating wave of alcohol fumes engulfed her, flooding out into the living room.
"WHO DRANK THE GOOD STUFF WITHOUT ME?!" Suika immediately shot over, fur bristling. But when she saw the mountain of bottles inside, even she froze in shock.
'Someone threw a booze party... and didn't invite me?!'
Before she could start cursing, Sakuya's hand clamped down on her head—
"Your doing?"
"Nope! If it were me, I'd still be soaking in there refusing to leave." Suika shook her head vigorously, her face a mix of envy and resentment.
She'd been dreaming of a day like this, only for someone else to beat her to it!
"Yuugi, then?"
"No way. We're both on probation. If she pulled this, the boss would've strangled her on the spot."
"Then who? You two are the biggest alcoholics here."
"Maybe the boss set it up himself? Bet he's dreaming of a life of wine and women, this is clearly a sign of criminal intent!"
Suika declared confidently while rummaging through the bottles, hoping to find even a drop left.
Meanwhile, Sakuya's nose twitched as she noticed something odd beneath the overwhelming stench of alcohol.
A strange, familiar scent...
'Like what Patchy and Marisa had on them… Don't tell me the boss and Marisa were experimenting with some weird play in here last night, and Patchy got caught in the crossfire?!'
As Sakuya's mind raced with wild imaginings, the true culprit of last night's chaos was just waking up...
"Ugh... S-shit... my head… Hic..."
"Why do I feel like... I got the crap beaten out of me...?"
Yuugi groaned, clutching her throbbing skull as she sat up, the hangover leaving her mind foggy.
As she lazily scratched her stomach, her fingers brushed against something sticky.
Blinking in confusion, she brought her hand up for a closer look.
'...Booze? Wait, no. Smells weird... kinda like what's in my mouth…'
Still too out of it to process things, she shrugged it off and tried to stand—only for a wave of soreness and sharp pain to shoot through her body.
'Hold up. Pain?!' Yuugi froze mid-stretch, the lingering drunkenness fading fast.
When she finally looked down, the brutal "battle scars" covering her body made her eyes widen in horror.
'What the hell happened last night?! Why do I look like I got wrecked?!'
Staring in disbelief at the wrecked room—every surface bearing signs of a fierce "struggle," even the floor slick with sweat—her mind raced.
Then, as if remembering something urgent, she scrambled off the bed and frantically dug under it.
"Ow—!"
The movement tugged at her wounds, making her hiss. But seeing 'Wasted Dreams' still safely hidden in its spot, she finally relaxed.
Just as she finished securing the box and tried piecing together last night's events—
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
"Yuugi, you awake? I need to ask you something!" Yuugi's entire body stiffened.
In the fastest reaction of her life, she lunged at the door and slammed her weight against it.