Delicious Crackers – Part 2
Having just woken up from his pleasant and oddly massage-like nap, Luffy found himself stuck inside the wooden barrel without a single clue as to how he had gotten there. Taking a moment to adjust to his current predicament, the captain wriggled inside the tight confinement until he was no longer upside-down. It was then that he realized that some water was slowly leaking in through the top of his new, temporary home. Upon touching it, he soon figured out that it was sea-water.
Slightly alarmed, Luffy began to call out to his friends, or anyone who might be in the vicinity, for help but no one answered. Without any outside assistance currently available, he began to ponder what the next best course of action would be. Of course, as he was not all that fond of prolonged, mental gymnastics, Luffy began to push against the lid above, hoping it would pop off. Unfortunately, the cover didn't seem to budge in the slightest.
Seeing the futility of his action, Luffy took a brief pause, huddling up and muttering to himself out of sheer frustration. It didn't last very long however as his impatience got the better of him. With a single, roaring cry of defiance, Luffy punched the crap out of the lid, sending parts of it flying all over the sea. The chain which kept it in place shattered in an instant and quickly disappeared into the depths below. How the rest of the barrel didn't explode from the impact was beyond his concerns –he wasn't sinking so why should it matter to him? Laughing and grinning triumphantly, the rubber man poked his head out and surveyed his surroundings with an unreasonable excitement. "Yup..." he chuckled. "That's the sea!"
Luckily for him, the vast ocean was very calm and only a few, small waves could be felt as he was pushed about in whichever direction the currents allowed. Usually, any normal individual would most likely spend the next few hours screaming and panicking their brains out. Unlike most people, though, Luffy was just calmly humming on a makeshift song as his cylindrical sea-craft carried him away. After just a few minutes of singing, the crew-less captain had grown bored of his tone-deaf endeavour and began to drift off as sleep became more and more attractive to him.
"Hmm…" he muttered. "What am I supposed to do now?"
His gaze, lazy as it was, peered off in every direction, scouting his surrounding in a meagre attempt to stay awake – even he knew falling asleep in this situation would be a dumb idea. Then, not expecting to find anything of interest, Luffy noticed something odd floating off in the distance. He couldn't quite tell what it was but it was at least far more interesting than the endlessly stretching sea, that's for sure. Darting up on his feet, Luffy narrowed his eyes and tried to pinpoint the distance between himself and the object.
Once he had figured out all the necessary calculations, Luffy stretched his arm out in the opposite direction, as far as he could, and pulled it back towards him with all the strength he could muster. As it came back, his fist shot passed him and flew towards his target with great speed until he managed to grab onto it. Grinning with delight, he bounced up into the air, just to keep himself from skimming across the surface of the ocean as he travelled, and blasted off in the blink of an eye. Careening over the calm water, and as he got closer, Luffy could finally tell what the strange, floaty thing was.
"Oh!" he roared ecstatically. "It's a boat!"
Whilst not completely wrong, the small boat was more akin to a wooden raft with a shabby shack on top and was far from what you'd normally consider seaworthy. Regardless, Luffy didn't consider this much of an issue – it was a clear upgrade compared to his barrel. As the he flew towards the raft, the usual, problematic conundrum of how to slow down began to tickle his brain. It would be bad if he accidentally broke his supposed rescue after all, but there wasn't all that much to be done about it. Or maybe that was just an excuse so he wouldn't have to care about it?
As expected, however, Luffy crashed straight through one of the cabin walls, smashing whatever happened to be in his way. Thankfully the large pile of debris, which had formed thanks to his stellar entry, served as a perfect barrier to halt his flight before he could accidentally fly straight though the structure. Slightly shaken and moderately confused, Luffy pulled himself up from the pile of broken planks and shattered interior decoration and chuckled as if he had done nothing wrong. "Hahaha! I made it!"
Taking a moment to survey his surroundings, Luffy deducted that he was in some kind of shop; the walls were adorned with shelves of various shapes and sizes, at least the few that remained, holding many kinds of exotic items. "Hmm…" he thought. "Why is no one here?" Luffy crossed his arms, tilted his head slightly and scanned the room with a perplexed expression – not even a quarter of the items on display seemed edible. "Why open a shop when you're not going to sell food?" he scoffed – It was utter madness to him.
Then, noticing something odd in the corner of his eyes, Luffy turned his attention to the collection of rubble next to him and saw something sort of sickening. There was an arm poking out of the mess he had made, and it looked very odd and leathery. The rubber-man began to wonder if the person who owned this shop sold fake arms or maybe stockpiled emergency rations for cannibals. No matter what the reason was, he decided to poke it.
"Ugh…" he groaned. "Feels kind of weird."
"Mmph!"
"Huh?" Luffy was confused – the arm seemed to grunt whenever he poked it.
Then, without much thought, Luffy grabbed onto the skin of the arm and pinched it. The pile of trash then exploded with a fierce intensity before him, sending debris all over the room. Taken by surprise, Luffy fell to the floor and watched in awe as a black, blurry blob of boisterous bellowing barrelled through the air. It spun impressively and almost instantaneously found its footing as it landed on the counter. The odd, unidentified flying object began to hum with an increasing vigour until it roared with enthusiasm. Its arms shot out to the side and with a slightly elevated angle.
"Welcome! I say welcome to my humble shop, merry vandal! For what price can I bestow upon you the gift of happiness?!" the black blob blubbered. "Also…" it continued. "That fucking hurt you butt-sucking shit-bucket!" The short, old woman turned around and stared Luffy right in the eyes as tears streamed from her own; she was covered in bruises and seemed somewhat upset.
"That was so cool!" he cheered; he was clearly impressed with her acrobatics. "Do it again!"
"Like hell I will!" she quickly refused and dusted all the dirt off of her black robe. "Youngsters these days…"
"Ah!" Luffy's eyes widened. "What happened to you? Are you hurt, or just a zombie?"
"You did this to me, you vandal!"
"What?!" Luffy genuinely roared. "But I just got here!"
"Dear lord… why do I always attract the really stupid ones..." the lady muttered. "Why can't I get any kind or handsome customers?"
"Hmm…" Luffy muttered. "You're kind of crazy, aren't you?"
"Silence, vandal! I am Pricillandrea Escvalor Nerphir Illae Seras, daughter of the great and prodigious Frank Alexandros Ce Elft and owner of the world's greatest shop of exotic and magical items!"
Luffy didn't really understand a single word of what the crazy old woman spouted, but he assumed that she was some kind of big-shot. Whilst he didn't really care about that, or for her actual name, he did genuinely try figure out an appropriate nickname for the weirdo. In the end, after many seconds had passed, Luffy reluctantly gave up and settled with the simplest thing he could think of.
"Say, old lady, you wouldn't happen to have something to eat? I'm kind of hungry."
"Something to eat, you say?" she muttered. "Why yes… mieeehehehehe! I might just have something that will sate your… hunger." A wicked, sinister grin grew across her wrinkly face. The room darkened and small thunder-clouds began to circle the two ominously. "Behold… a bag of animal crackers!" the lady held aloft a plain and moderately-sized, brown bag.
"Oh cool! Thanks a lot, old lady!" Luffy cheered and reached for his meal.
"That will be… twenty thousand Beli, mieehehe!" the elderly woman laughed and kept the bag away from the captain's hands.
"Eeeeeeeeeeh?" Luffy groaned. "I don't have that kind of money on me… or any money at all for that matter." he grinned. "Maybe I can pay for them when my crew arrives?"
"Your… crew?"
"Yeah! Although I have no idea where they are right now…"
"Mieeehehehehe! Splendid! I will give you these animal crackers for free then!"
"Oh really? That's so kind of you, old lady!"
"But! You may only eat these with your friends, and when you're all together!" she smiled as the tiny clouds rumbled around them.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Why?!"
"Well… uhm, you see…" the woman stammered. "These aren't your run-of-the-mill animal crackers – these my family's pride and joy! No, these crackers does not only bestow the most pleasant, satiated sensation life can provide but they also grant wisdom and knowledge far beyond the limits of what a single person can acquire on their own!" the old lady proclaimed with pride and quickly gasped for air. It was quite a mouthful.
"Oooooh, I get it now – they're magic crackers!"
"Y-Yes…"
"Yeah, okay! I promise I won't eat them until my friends arrive!"
"Mieeehehehehehe! Excellent!"
Staring intently at the young man, the elderly lady bellowed and roared with an evil glee. She waved her hands around, making the clouds swirl above her head until rays of dark energy blasted the bag with a thundering roar. The brown paper sack shrieked and bent as if possessed by a thousand angry souls, but ultimately settled down after absorbing the otherworldly essence. Luffy, who was far too busy enjoying the show, thought nothing of the implications of her evil spell. "What a cool, old lady!" he thought.
As she finished her spell, the clouds vanished before their eyes, bringing the room back to its usual, bright self. "Here you go – all done now." she smiled gently and handed Luffy the ominous bag. "Just don't forget to share them!"
"Thanks, and I won't!"
Sitting still on the floor, Luffy sucked in his lips and started chewing on them. He was still hungry, but even he felt it would be rude to ask for more food – anyone who is kind enough to give him anything edible should be given at least a hint of respect. Of course, his stomach thought quite differently and rumbled loudly in protest of his unusually adult behaviour. Thankfully, after about an hour later, his suffering had come to an end as he heard a familiar voice calling out to him.
"Hey, Luffy! Are you in there?!" the cyborg roared.
"Oh, that's them!" Luffy cheered and jumped up on his feet. "Thank you again for the crackers – take care and maybe we'll see each other again!"
"Oh… don't you worry, young vandal…" she chuckled menacingly. "Our paths will cross once more, of that you can be certain, mieeeeeehehehehe!" Unfortunately, Luffy was already gone and the old lady quickly realized that she had been cackling all to herself.
Finally back on the ship, Luffy chuckled joyfully as Chopper and Carrot flung themselves towards their captain. As they formed a big, wriggling pile of happiness on the deck, the rest of the crew sighed in relief and watched the trio tumble about. Amongst them all, Franky waited patiently for the rowdy crowd to calm down before he could give his heartfelt apologies for screwing up so spectacularly. To Luffy, however, no apology was required as everything had turned out just fine.